How to Be an Encourager

Written by Whitney Jordan of Polka-Dotty Place

Everyone needs to be encouraged. It makes people feel special, loved and appreciated. I’m a positive person by nature and love to encourage others. I find myself looking for ways to be an encourager and it makes me happy to know that other people feel supported and loved by my actions.

I thought I’d share a few lists with you today of ways you can be an encourager.

Your Spouse:
1. Pack a special lunch for them with an encouraging note to let them know they are loved and appreciated.
2. Send an e-mail, text or make a quick phone call during the day to send some love their way. I send pictures of our daughter, encouraging texts and check in to see how his day is going.
3. Invite your spouse to go on a date with you so you’ll both have something to look forward to throughout the week.
4. Make time to slow down and debrief about your days – pick a time that works for both of you and look forward to it each day. You can do coffee in the afternoon, chats after dinner, after the kids go to bed or you can always make time for pillow talk to encourage each other.

Your Child(ren):
1. Smile at them
2. Tell them they are doing a good job and encourage them to try new things with your support
3. Plan a favorite activity to do with them. My baby is 8 months old and her favorite things right now are bath time, going for walks and having me sit and play with her on the floor. I make time to do those things with her because I want to encourage our relationship and for her to know that I pay attention to the things that she loves. I also want her to feel special and know how much I love her.
4. Turn off the TV and encourage their love for reading by reading with them. Find a comfy chair or reading nook in your house and enjoy books together.
5. Fix food together and encourage them to try new things.
6. Introduce them to new things – hobbies, restaurants, sports, people, books – and encourage them to work hard and stick with something that might be hard at first.

Your Family:
1. Stay in contact with grandparents, aunts, cousins any way you can – emails, phone calls, texts, snail mail or face to face time are the perfect opportunities to encourage each other. I have found that blogging helps me to keep in touch with my family. They encourage me when I keep them up to date on what is going on in my life.
2. Plan gatherings and be intentional about spending time together. Let them know when you’ll be in town or when you are available and then set aside special time to spend with them
3. Call them on their birthdays and/or send them a birthday card. I know that so many people are on Facebook but there’s nothing like opening your mailbox and finding a stack of handwritten notes on your special day.
4. You can never go wrong with calling someone just for a quick chat to brighten their day.

Your Friends – real life, on-line, bloggers or lifelong friends:
1. Plan a friend date and share your current events with each other. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate event but I have found that even a quick date encourages me and helps our relationship grow.
2. Spend time together and update each other on your lives. It’s challenging to encourage people about specific things if they don’t let you in on their lives.
3. Ask for prayer and encouragement from them and offer it in return. It’s always nice to know that someone is thinking of you and praying for you.
4. Work on a fun project together and help motivate each other to complete it. You could plan time to do a DIY project, a renovation, craft, baking challenge or craft together.
5. Exercise together and help each other stay motivated to meet your goals.
6. For far away friends, make phone calls or Facetime dates to stay connected or exchange emails, texts or snail mail regularly – it’s amazing how a quick note can make someone feed loved and encouraged.

Strangers: This may seem a bit odd but you can definitely encourage complete strangers.
1. Hold the door for someone who has their hands full
2. Let someone go ahead of you in line
3. Talk to your cashiers when they are ringing you up – ask about their day and wish them a great day
4. Smile and make eye contact with the people you encounter
5. Share a coupon with someone waiting in line with you
6. Buy a coffee or a treat for the person in line behind you

Hello! My name is Whitney and I blog at Polka-Dotty Place. I am a new mom and my family recently moved to Arkansas. We are enjoying the state and like to spend our weekends exploring our new home. I love to take pictures, blog, organize, make lists, bake, accessorize, do DIY projects and watch football. I am always looking to make new bloggy friends so please stop by and say hi.


  1. kristen says:

    What a great list – so many things I wouldn’t have thought of!

    About 4 or 5 months ago I was going through a bit of a depression, and I remembered something that my mom used to tell me: “when you are feeling down, do something nice for someone else!” With practice, it actually works and it gets the focus off of myself. Yay!

    Since then I have felt convicted to encourage those around me on a daily basis. I’m not always great at it, but I think I might be getting better! 😉

    Thanks for such a great list, Whitney!

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