What do you really want?

Stop for a minute.

Take a deep breath. 

Let me ask you that again.

What do you really want?

Specifically:

What do you really want from blogging?

Could you give a succinct, verbal answer to that question if I was sitting across from you right now over coffee?

If not, I totally understand!

Lots of days I have trouble choosing what I want to drink or to eat. 

So how am I supposed to answer such a grand question?

But the longer I blog (write, live, walk on this earth), the more I am convinced that we have to define what we want.

And then once we figure it out, we have to ask for it.

Personally, I don’t like asking for things.

I don’t like being rejected. I don’t want to be told no. Or worse, to get no reply at all.

But everything I have gotten to do in blogging has happened because I was willing to face getting a negative response to my many requests.

When I was telling the story of my journey of blogging, I mentioned this minor detail about asking for things (or pitching), but it’s worth mentioning again.

Every wonderful opportunity I have had as a blogger represents at least twenty opportunities I did not get. 

Every positive response to an email represents twenty “no’s” or “no reply’s.”

You would think that now that I know that, I could go forward and ask with confidence and not worry about the inevitable rejection. 

Nope.

For some people it might get easier to be told “no,” but I am one of those sensitive creatures for whom it hurts every single time. I face self-doubt and insecurity at the onset of every project and every ask.

But the flip side is that if I don’t ask, I won’t be told “yes” either.

So I keep wading back into my email inbox and asking.

If you were not afraid of being rejected, what would you ask for today? 

I would really love to know! Even if it’s just to encourage you to go for it and ask. Leave it in the comments or shoot me an email if you are hesitant to share outloud. (alison@alisonchino.com)

XO

Alison

PS. If you’re still back at the beginning puzzling over what you want, that’s ok! Maybe this post on Blog Dreaming will help! 

OR if you’re wondering where to start with asking/pitching or defining what you want, you should sign up to be at AWBU in August!