by Brenda McClain

God overwhelms me. He overwhelms me with his goodness and his grace. Sometimes he drags me, kicking and screaming, to the right decision. I’m not an easy child of God.

When we lose someone dear to us, I don’t think we realize until then what a vast chasm their loss creates. Compound that with family disagreements and abandonment over an estate, and it becomes a deep valley. One wonders if there will ever be a way out. This happens more often than we realize.

The first year after my Mother’s death, I was quiet, calm throughout the storm raging around me, and sometimes in me. In every…single…step, I was calm. To this day, I remain amazed and look back at the time almost fondly. Why? Because I survived, made it through, and kept my promises to Mother. But most of all, my faith in God during that time was calm and a force. I KNEW He was with me, covering me. I did not take a step without talking to Him.

You see, during this time I really didn’t care if I lived. 

Really…Did…Not…Care. My sisters and my nieces basically cut me out of their lives, and I was devastated. I had so tried to make everything work out, and I am sure-footed knowing I did my best. Along with my Mother, they are the reason I closed my Nashville, Tennessee business in 2002 and moved to Conway. And now?

My house is too big for me, and seems empty. We bought this sized house because my beloved nephew, 6’3″ Ron Greene, lived with us. We gave him the upstairs. The house was blue, Mother’s favorite color! Silly things that seemed to mean the world at the time. She loved this house, and really envisioned me living here after she was gone. In some of our late night talks she would tell me things she wanted me to do with the house — screened in back porch; take over the master suite. One out of two isn’t bad….

Through all of this, calm as I was, I really just hoped to die. Soon. Of course, I would never, ever actually kill myself, but I did not care. In my mind, I was useless. Everything I had done for family had been in vain. I really don’t think it was a pity party either, because I have known years and years now how very blessed my life truly is. My main goal was to get my affairs in order so I would not leave my nephew — executor of my will — a mess to clean up. He would have my Mother’s estate and mine to deal with, and that would not be fun or fair. So, my prayer was always to let me live until things were in order for him. That is basically still my prayer, but for a very different reason. I have a lot to do.

Ron deserves my best. He has lived with me or near me for the last 12-plus years of his 30 on this planet. He has backbone, and has withstood sometimes what seemed insurmountable odds to be in my life. He is my real life Hero!

Ron Greene and I celebrating his 30th birthday at our favorite place, The Capital Hotel’s One Eleven. 2015 permission from Brenda McClain

It will embarrass Ron, but he is also truly one of God’s Angels. For the first two years after Mother’s death, he stayed close, coming within a nano-second if I called. He left Conway Saturday, March 21st, on his new journey. I am so proud of him and the solid direction he has chosen. The sparkle in his eyes is back, and he is working to make his life better. He is still my Hero, an Angel of God. He’s just doing it from his beloved Texas! Through my tears and a few Krispy Kremes that Saturday, I was so very thankful.

The first friend I met in Conway was actually working in Little Rock. We met through my work with Gaither Music and his work with then-Governor Mike Huckabee. Don Bingham was Executive Director of the Governor’s Mansion. Little did I know what that chance meeting would hold. At the time, we were both just doing our jobs for our respective clients.

 

 

Don Bingham is now Executive Director of the Governor’s Mansion for newly-elected Governor Asa Hutchinson. This Governor will never have a better, more loyal employee. The state is lucky to have Don and Nancy Bingham in our midst. Don and his wife Nancy are Angels in my life. I guess they travel in pairs?

Enter Georg and Annabelle Andersen. It was Georg who freely offered his expertise on redoing my then house, and Annabelle who would greet me with fresh muffins, or invite me to lunch every time I came home. We discovered we lived about three houses away from one another. One of the houses in-between was, according to Georg, home to “the best eye surgeon in the region, if you ever have a need.”

“Good to know,” I said. How little I really knew.

 

Georg and Annabelle Andersen in front of Elizabeth Bogard’s art in Art on the Green.  Permission from Art on the Green.

Georg was to become my ‘Tipping Point’ Angel. He connected me to Nina Ruth Baker.

Georg was the one who first talked to me about working with Art on the Green, a top drawer Art Gallery, the first of its kind for this growing community. I was confident and experienced, but just simply going through the motions.

Nina and I met late one afternoon in the offices of Baker Eye Institute, where she assists her husband as a Registered Nurse Practitioner. HE is David Baker, MD, FACS. You remember? The best eye surgeon in the region, according to Georg. See how little I knew about God’s plans for me?

 

One of Nina Baker’s “Lift Up Your Head” paintings is  hanging from the ceiling skylight at Baker Eye Institute and two are in the Cantrell Airport in Conway, Arkansas. Used with permission from artonthegreen.net

It was in Nashville, Otter Creek church of Christ and Jerry Jennings was talking about Ephesians when he said “God’s plans for us are so much greater than we can ever imagine.”

I have never forgotten that moment or his words.

On the drive home I was numb. Can this be? Is it possible that i’ve found good, interesting, and even visionary work that will allow me to utilize the skills I worked so hard to acquire? I called my Aunt, Marvine Ely of Fort Worth, Texas. Since she has been one of God’s Angels in my life for years, she understood. I was beginning to.

October 17, 2013 I wrote this about Nina on my blog, brendamcclain.com: 

Then, there is Nina. Nina Ruth Baker, R.N. and Artist. Conway Art Gallery is her dream. As a young woman, told she was going blind, she picked up a paint brush and the rest is history…..As I met with different people in town I find their love and reverence for her kind heart similar to what was felt when The Dick Clark came on set of Prime Time Country. A hush, a genuine reverence for the person. This will embarrass her, I’m sure — but I want to say – publically, in this forum — just how loved she is by all. I am already learning so much from Nina.

 

Nina Baker in her studio, painting.  Photo by permission with Art on the Green.

 

Have I learned from her? Beyond measure. Nina Ruth Baker is the most selfless human being I have ever, ever met. EVER.

And as selfless as Nina is, David is wise. I would see him from time to time, and he was always extremely encouraging to me in my work for Nina. But one day, when I was (unbeknownst to anyone) feeling really low, Nina came to the Gallery. We met each other going in.

David and Nina Baker with Wesley Walls at a Gallery reception.  

“David asked me to give you this message today.” It was a very encouraging Bible verse, and while I want to keep this as a private message, there is no way I can accurately say how moved I was. I understood then, and continue to know, that David Baker,MD, FACS is one of God’s chosen Angels. I continue to be overwhelmed by David and Nina, their kindness, their generosity, and their just all-around goodness.

God answered my prayers before they were formed. He moved people, his earthly Angels, into my life for this very purpose, more than ten years before I knew I would need them.

 

This is the day my life felt renewed.  Art on the Green’s ribbon cutting.  L to R Front row: Katrina Dolislager, Sheila Parsons, Nina Baker, Georg Andersen, Linda Flake and Elizabeth Bogard. Back row: William McClanahan, Cathy Wester, David Baker, Parilee Croft, Lois Giorgis and Don Bingham. Used with permission Art on the Green.

Is this to say David and Nina, the Binghams, and the Andersens are the only Angels in my life? Absolutely not. So many have had an impact, and I plan to continue talking about my Earthly Angels @ brendamcclain.com in the coming months.

How do I ever say “thank you” to people who unknowingly helped me renew my life, gave me a new will to live? I can’t. What I can do is be as honorable as I know how to be around them, and if in some small way I can make their lives easier, I will. I do Pray so.

 

My favorite photo of Art on the Green at night. Photo used with permission Art on the Green.

Brenda McClain is Gallery Director for Art on the Green, the art vortex for Central Arkansas.  Her blog, brendamcclain.com tells about her life and experiences in the Entertainment  Business as the former CEO for MPR, a Nashville, Tn. based Public Relations agency.

You will usually find her having a morning Starbucks in Art on the Green, reading the headlines on her iPad mini.  She’ll be the one in black and if the sun is shining maybe even wearing sunglasses!