Category: Blogger of the Month

Suzy Taylor Oakley – Miss September 2015

“Comparison is the death of joy” (Mark Twain).

Two fellow Arkansas Women Bloggers get the credit – or the blame – for my leap into the blogosphere in 2007.

At the time, I lived in North Little Rock and went to church with Alison Chino and Sarabeth Jones, two incredible storytellers. I had been stalking their blogs for a while, posting comments while envying their ability to communicate in ways I didn’t possess.

(Photo courtesy of Hatch and Maas)

Photo courtesy of Hatch and Maas

I’ve always loved to write – edited my high school newspaper, got a degree in journalism – and I had a secret desire to start my own blog. One day I hinted on Sarabeth’s blog that I might be close to ready to leap. Sarabeth’s simple response:

“You are SO ready.”

BOOM.

That tiny bit of encouragement – four little words, from someone whose writing skills I admired – was all I needed.

I was ready.

I was ready to overcome my fear of not measuring up.

Soon after, I launched one of the best adventures I’ve ever been on: Suzy & Spice.

In the nearly eight years since I started Suzy & Spice and then launched a second blog, I’ve learned that comparison doesn’t get me where I want to go. This realization has spurred me to take a proactive stand against that killer of the joy I seek to maintain.

Comparison is much easier to combat when you realize it’s happening.

So I keep vigil. I seek ways to step outside my comfort zone, I pray a lot and I count my blessings. The girl I was 10 years ago, five years ago – even one year ago – is different from the one who just led a session on self-editing at Arkansas Women Bloggers University.

This girl, today, is grateful for AWBU, Arkansas Women Bloggers and the individual chicks who form the collective. They’re a huge reason I can write without fear, grow in knowledge and grace … be myself.

And this group’s existence is one of the reasons I have the courage to admit that my newer blog, launched three months ago today, is not quite the right fit.

It’s OK to admit when something isn’t working and move on.

I’ve decided to return to my roots.

I’m rebranding, relaunching and relearning.

Suzy & Spice will remain; it’s my write-whatever-I-want blog. The new one, to be announced (although I already have a name, logo design and brand colors taking up space in my head), will take me back to when I was a freelance editor, only this time I’ll add the word “writer” to the title.

I came out of the womb a word nerd.

It’s time to let that girl spread her wings and learn to fly again. And the flight plan will be her own, not anyone else’s.

You can find me online at:

Link to both blogs: http://suzyoakley.com
Twitter & Periscope: https://twitter.com/OakleySuzyT
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/suzyoakley
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+SuzyTaylorOakley_suzyandspice/posts
Instagram: https://instagram.com/oakleysuzyt (maybe this post will spur me to start uploading photos!)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/suzy.taylor.oakley

 

Real Community

by Jenny Marrs, Miss August 2015

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Sunday nights have been set aside. We have stumbled through two years of finding sitters, preparing meals, and rushing {the Marrs’ are perpetually running late, it’s our thing} to show up by 5 o’clock. 

Each week, one of us opens our home and the others arrive bearing salad or bread or brownies. The kitchen becomes a flurry of activity and lighthearted chatter as we work around one another reaching for plates, stirring pots of soup, or pouring drinks. We share a meal while catching up on the new home or the teething baby or the teen going off to college in a few weeks. 

These evenings have become sacred. We have walked through the storms of life together, we have celebrated together, we have prayed mightily for one another. Within the safety of four walls and these people, tender stories have been shared. We have laughed and cried and sang and rejoiced. These evenings can’t be manufactured. The deep well of friendship that exists among these people, my people, is as real as anything I’ve ever experienced. 

Some nights find us watching football or sharing stories that leave us on the floor doubled up in laughter {in my case, I mean that literally. As in, I literally fall on the floor laughing}. Some nights, we sit quietly as one shares heartache or betrayal or fear. We pray. We hold one another up. 

During our two-year adoption journey, while our sick daughter was prevented from coming home, these friends carried Dave and I through the pain and the unknowns and the fear. They were our steadfast rocks. I will forever be grateful for the ways they fought alongside us, held us while we sobbed and prayed for miracles. 

Here’s the thing: this is special. I get that. This little tribe of ours is unique. Yet, we all need this type of community. When this world gets turned upside down and the noise is deafening, we need to step away from the clamor and enter in to real relationships with real people. We need to sacrifice our time and our energy in order to make relationships a priority. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought it would just be easier to stay home on Sunday night. Yet, every single week, I’m grateful I stepped out of my door and made the time to connect and listen and share. I walk away refreshed for the week ahead. 

Jen Hatmaker says it so well in her new book For the Love, “We live in a strange, unprecedented time when face-to-face relationships are becoming optional. It’s tricky, this new online connectivity, because it can become meaningful and true; it has given way to actual friendships I treasure. But it can also steal from friends on porches, the ones who truly know you, who talk about real life over nachos. Online life is no substitute for practiced, physical presence, and it will never replace someone looking you in the eye, padding around your kitchen in bare feet, making you take a blind taste test on various olives, walking in your front door without knocking.” 

Please hear my heart on this: I adore this online community here at ARWB. It is meaningful. It has a real place in our lives. Yet, it is no substitute for in-the-flesh friends that we can walk through life with. 

Even if it’s scary, invite someone over. Set a day of the week. Prepare a simple meal and connect across the table. If you’re new to your city or town, invite a couple of people that you think would make good friends. There’s no special formula here. Sometimes, the chemistry just won’t be there. Sometimes, the conversation will be awkward and the silences will not be the comfortable kind and that’s okay. Just keep at it. Keep on opening your door and placing food on your table and asking others in. You will find that the effort to make relationships a priority will absolutely be worth it. 

And most importantly, be real. Share your heart. Be honest. Be authentic. Don’t try to make a complicated Pinterest-worthy meal or ensure your house is perfect before opening your door. Real is refreshing. Real says, you’re welcome here. 

What My Daughter Has Taught Me About Love

by Jenny Marrs, Miss August 2015

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I’m frequently asked about the transition our family underwent when our daughter joined our family through adoption. Friends and family are naturally curious about our family dynamic. They wonder how Sylvie has adjusted to her new world. They ask about her siblings and the impact her adoption has had on their own tender hearts.

The short answer is: “it’s complicated.”

The multi-faceted layers of hurt and brokenness and pain Sylvie carries with her are staggering. At just over one year home, we are still working to learn what triggers fear and uncover the cause of certain behaviors.

One of the most profound lessons adopting a toddler with a traumatic past has taught me is this: love is not a passive emotion, it requires effort. 

We are doing the hard work of love in our home. It is messy and fractured and imperfect. Yet, we are stumbling through and watching the beauty of redemption unfold. The transformation has been most dramatic in Sylvie’s eyes: eyes that once were cold and lifeless are now bright and quite literally shine.

In a recent conversation with Monica of the Bentonville Project, she asked for my description of love. Looking back on my response, I see clear lessons learned from parenting my girl. 

Love is selfless and vulnerable. It is intentional. Love is seeing the mess and the brokenness and stepping into the story instead of turning away. Love is getting up every day and doing the next thing. Love gives more than it receives. Love can be fireworks and wonder and awe but often, most often, it is quiet, gentle, and unremarkable. Love is tender.  Love is laps full, arms wrapped around littles, snuggled together reading a bedtime story. Love pursues. Love forgives. Love extends grace. Love is the foundation of an abundant life.

Permission to Shine

by Jenny Marrs, Miss August 2015

From the moment Julie’s email appeared in my inbox inviting me into this role of Blogger of the Month for August, I’ve been suffering from a serious bout of writer’s block. 

Writing for other writers is intimidating. 

I’ve struggled to come up with topics that would be beneficial or inspiring or encouraging for you gals. Because I believe time is our most valuable resource, I’ve had one question rolling around in my mind since reading that email: “Why would these bloggers take the time out of their day to read my measly offering of words?”

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Recently, I sat with one of my dearest friends on this planet and listened as she poured out her insecurities and fears. I wept over the brokenness that held her captive. I literally pushed my chair aside and stood, outraged at the lies she believed about herself. I stopped her and I declared truths that I saw in her. I could not bear to let her walk out of that room believing those hideous lies about herself. Words just came. There was no outline or editing process or drafts. They just welled up in me out of righteous anger for my beloved friend. 

And, as I shared her value and worth, I realized something. I needed to hear the same words. And, I would be willing to bet that there is someone reading this post today that could probably stand to shut down the lies, as well. 

You see, we all have a unique voice. We all have a noteworthy story to tell. Yet, somewhere in all of the noise of this world, our story is often pushed aside. Our voice muffled. 

There are countless blogs and storytellers out there. I don’t know about any of you but I often fear insignificance in this space. I believe we all want our words to matter. We all desire to make a difference within our sphere of influence. 

And, the beautiful, hope-restoring, simple truth is this: we all matter. 

We each have distinct gifts and there is room enough for us all. When one of us succeeds, we can cheer her on knowing that her success does not take away from our own. We can lift one another up without fearing our own demise. We can be vulnerable and brave. We can hit publish and send our words out into the world. 

My new favorite quote was shared by Rebekah Lyons during her reading at IF: Gathering in February. I think I’m going to write this on my bathroom mirror. I need this reminder daily. 

“As we let our own light shine, we give others permission to do the same.” 

My hope is that this AWB community can continue to give one another permission to shine. What an honor it is to be among you ladies. 

When Your Well Runs Dry {Blogger of the Month}

by Jenny Marrs, Miss August 2015

There are seasons when schedules are packed and laundry is piled high and to-do lists continually multiply regardless of the effort exerted to check off tasks.

In these seasons, work feels uninspired and overwhelming.

Copious amounts of coffee are consumed. Self-care is buried under responsibilities. Exhaustion settles in like a morning fog, desiring rest in order to lift.

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Creativity is stifled. Writing feels small and inadequate.

Comparison steals joy.

Tempers run short. Sharp words sting. The well of patience and compassion runs dry.

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You seek change and desire peace.

You slow down. You breathe deep. You pursue grace.

You learn to prioritize gratitude. Thankfulness becomes your compass.

Through the lens of gratitude, the full calendar transforms from obligations into moments ready to be treasured. The overflowing laundry reveals signs of life and precious loved ones under your roof to clothe. The toys strewn about the house are reflections of shared joy and laughter.

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As we walk into the stifling heat of August in Arkansas, let’s choose to prioritize gratitude. Let us be a people of thankfulness. Let us look beyond the dust and instead see the beauty of sunlight filtering through the window falling on that old shelf.

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In whatever season you are in, allow thankfulness to be your compass.  Create markers of joy. Recorded gratitude in writing, thankfulness proclaimed out loud, photographic evidence of beauty in the midst of the mess. If there is one thing I’ve learned as I have set out on a personal journey to pursue joy, it is this: the well cannot remain dry when the heart is transformed through the act of intentionally seeking gratitude.

Jenny Marrs Miss August 2015

I’ll be honest with you all, I’m feeling equally grateful and vastly under-qualified for this honor of Arkansas Women Bloggers’ August Blogger of the Month.

jenny marrsJust like many of the best things in my life, I find the title of blogger to be incredibly unexpected. I didn’t set out to blog or build a platform or share my deepest, darkest, most vulnerable thoughts with whoever happens upon my little corner of the internet; I simply wanted to keep a journal of our family’s adoption journey for close friends and family to read. As our straightforward adoption journey became anything but straightforward, Blessings & Raindrops became a place for my emotions to pour forth and a way for God to speak to my own heart through the written word. As I chronicled my desire to seek God in the dark valley of our waiting, I found a refreshing community and soul-refueling encouragement through many of my fellow ARWB blogging gals.

This online journal of mine has evolved alongside my own life. Since that first post, I left my corporate job and my photography business in order to stay home with my twin boys, moved from downtown Bentonville into a 100+ year-old farmhouse in the country {that we literally picked up and moved– we are simply crazy, no other explanation}, founded a non-profit, planted our blueberry farm, and added two girls to our brood.

Needless to say, my life is busy, chaotic, and messy {the computer I’m typing on was recently thrown up on – need I say more?}. More than anything, it is abundantly joyful and full of laughter {and impromptu dance parties – which, incidentally, are the key to my sanity. It’s a proven fact: no one can fight or cry or whine while dancing in the kitchen. It just isn’t possible}.

My posts these days document all of my current unexpected titles: orphan and vulnerable child advocate, historic home renovator and decorator, adoptive momma, mom to four little people ages five and under and seeker of joy in the midst the mundane.

Thanks for this opportunity to share a slice of my world. I’m so looking forward to our month together!
 

Where you can find me online:
My blog:http://www.blessingsandraindrops.com
Twitter:https://twitter.com/marrs_jenny
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/Blessingsandraindropsblog
 Instagram: https://instagram.com/jennymarrs/
Pinterest:https://www.pinterest.com/jenny_marrs/
 

Waist Training

By Jacqueline Presley, Miss July 2015

OK, Imma talk about a “womanly” issue. Not tampons, don’t worry. Those of us who have had children: you might be experiencing something I have. I’ve become a box. I’m talking about my waist. Where I used to have curves, there are no curves. Do you know what I mean? Here’s an example:

Square belly

Do you see it? My waist is like a square. It used to not be. Here’s what’s going on under there: It’s called Diastasis Recti. You can read more about it here.

I didn’t just have 2 pregnancies, I also had a c-section. They literally went in there & pushed those muscles aside to get the baby (Katie) out. I have tried everything to bring those muscles back together. Nothing has worked well. A couple of months ago I read an article about Kim Kardashian doing waist training & I began to read more about how to do it properly. Basically, you wear a corset through the process of exercising & eating right. The combination is dramatic. Within 1 week, I noticed a difference. Week 2, I was able to wear the next size down in pants (without the corset on) & I hadn’t lost any weight. It puts the muscles where they should be as I exercise, so they get stronger in the right place. I’m starting to get my curve back: 

CURVE

You should definitely try it!

Note: Arkansas Women Bloggers does not promote or condone any specific weight management or fitness regime.  The opinions above are of the specific author of this piece and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Arkansas Women Bloggers. Always consult your physician before beginning any new health program.

I Want to SHINE Like My Daughter

By Jacqueline Presley, Miss July 2015

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Remember when you were little and life was simpler? The easy joys of feeling sunshine on your face, feeling the dirt between your toes, the wind in your hair? I remember lying down in the grass, looking up at the sky and dreaming of my future. The future was so bright and my eyes were so innocent. I had no idea how difficult and painful life can be. I had no idea the things I would face. I just knew about right then and the dream of what would be. I think I have lost a lot of that. The older I get, the more I forget what that’s like. Life darkens my perspective. Can you relate?

That’s the beauty of children. They help us remember. When my daughter was born it was like a breath of fresh air was blown across my life. To be able to watch her experience things for the first time, to hear her laugh and be loved by her with abandon, completely. I want my love to be pure like that, unhindered. I want to remember the smaller of pleasures. I want to be wild like her, silly like her, SHINE like her.

Ms July #ARWB @jdpresley want 2 shine like her daughter. You?

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3 Things I’ve Learned Lately from Arkansas Women Bloggers

by Jacqueline Presley, Miss July 2015

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I love being part of this community. I love that I can always bring the many blogging questions I have to you & someone has an answer. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned lately. Maybe at least one of them was something you didn’t know:

1) When you pin a pin on Pinterest from your feed, make sure you click through to the actual website & pin it from there. That way, you’ll get the credit for the pin (Repins maintain the source-link of the image no matter how many times it’s repinned). Thank you, Heather Schisler.

2) Should you ever be asked for or need your Unique Pageviews for your site through Google Analytics, here’s how to get it:
Behavior >Site Content > All Pages Then, you’ll see Unique Pageviews there. Thanks, Elizabeth Michael.

3) Within the Shareaholic App on WordPress, you can customize the Tweet text to include your Twitter handle, so you know when someone is Tweeting out your post. Thank you, Heidi Clark.

Thankful for the tips ladies.