Good Morning, Arkansas!

I’m honored to be your blogger of the month. Also, if I’m honest, feeling a little like I’ve gotten away with something because here’s my secret: I’m not a very good blogger. In fact, way back in about 2006 when a friend said, “You HAVE to have a blog!” I called her crazy. I talked too much as it was (still do) and didn’t think it prudent to embrace the distribution of immediate, unfiltered content. Plus, I’m old fashioned. I fancied myself a newspaper girl. I wanted to be Gwen Rockwood, another awesome Arkansas blogger and co-founder of NWA Motherlode.

I was too busy learning to write and planning my big future in newsprint to notice a media revolution was brewing. (I’m savvy like that.) Luckily, I had some luck with magazines, but those only come out once a month and damn it, I wanted to talk more often. Timidly, reluctantly, I started my first Blogger blog. I won’t say it took me a long time to “find my voice” because that’s annoying. What I will say is that it took me a very long time to figure out how I wanted to use my blog. It took me so long I still haven’t figured it out, but I keep evolving. I like cultivating my own little plot of land online.

As for me outside of my blog, I’m a best-selling author, journalist, and professional speaker. But I do all that in my spare time now. In August I joined the brilliant marketing team at Acumen Brands, where I’ll be using my media experience to grow the Country Outfitter and Maple & West brands. That’s my latest adventure.

My blog is primarily a place to entertain, inspire, and shamelessly promote. Someday I hope it will be useful, too. I’m not sure what the harvest will be from year to year (or what kind of played-out metaphors I’ll come up with) but I’d love to invite you over to watch it grow.

www.leladavidson.com/blog

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Lela Davidson
Author of Blacklisted from the PTA and Who Peed on My Yoga Mat?

For my final “Grow Where You’re Planted” guest post, I’m making a top ten list of my favorite Arkansas things, and inviting you to do the same. Copy the list to your own blog, and link to it, or just share your entire list here. I’m looking forward to reading every one, and discovering some new favorites.

Ready? Go!

Favorite stretch of road in Arkansas:
Favorite time of year in Arkansas:
Favorite place to eat fancy in Arkansas:
Favorite place to eat casual in Arkansas:
Favorite place to get away in Arkansas:
Favorite place to walk in Arkansas:
Favorite thing that grows in Arkansas:
Favorite place to swim in Arkansas:
Favorite colorful expression or place name in Arkansas:
Favorite fair or festival in Arkansas:

Here are my answers. For today, anyway. They’d probably all change next week. So many favorites from which to choose.

Favorite stretch of road in Arkansas: the pecan tree tunnel south of Scott, on Highway 161
Favorite time of year in Arkansas: October is hard to beat
Favorite place to eat fancy in Arkansas: Ashley’s at the Capital Hotel
Favorite place to eat casual in Arkansas: Lately, The Banana Leaf curry truck in Little Rock
Favorite place to get away from it all in Arkansas: It’s been too long, but I used to love going to Eureka Springs. So much, I’ve set my next book near there.
Favorite place to walk in Arkansas: Cedar Falls trail, Petit Jean State Park
Favorite thing that grows in Arkansas: homegrown tomatoes to eat, gardenias to breathe, dogwoods to admire
Favorite place to swim in Arkansas: Greer’s Ferry Dam Site
Favorite colorful expression or place name in Arkansas: “might could”
Favorite fair or festival in Arkansas: The State Fair

I’m curious to learn your favorites. Thanks so much for being such great neighbors and visiting with me this month on this virtual front porch. I hope we get to spend some time together in person at the ARWB conference next month.

Warmest wishes,
Kyran

Photo credit: Jacob Slaton (www.JacobSlaton.com) Used with permission.

Written by Kyran Pittman of Planting Dandelions, Arkansas Women Bloggers Miss August 2013

I know people who aren’t parents love Arkansas as much as I do, but I didn’t really appreciate what a gem my adopted state is until I saw it with the eyes of a mom. Continuing in the August ARWB theme of “Grow Where You’re Planted,” here are my six reasons Arkansas is a great place to raise a family. I hope you’ll add yours, whether you’re a parent, a friend to children, or a person who was lucky enough to grow up here.

1. The Outdoors: We’re never far from nature in the Natural State. Even in our suburban neighborhood, my kids have woods to roam, a creek to splash in, and an amazing array of backyard wildlife to observe (and sometimes catch). We are a short drive from spacious parks, scenic hikes, and extensive bike trails. Our state is dotted with more campgrounds, lakes, and recreational areas than we can probably hope to visit in a lifetime. And with a mostly temperate climate, it’s possible to make the most of our natural assets nearly year-round.
2. Community: Hilary Rodham Clinton made an enduring catch phrase of the folk wisdom that “it takes a village to raise a family.” Small wonder that she raised her own family in Arkansas, a state that feels pretty much like one big, small town. Pioneer roots, entwined with Southern hospitality, make a warm and sturdy nest. My biological extended family lives thousands of miles away, but I have been able to recreate one here in friends and neighbors who have sheltered us like kin through many of life’s figurative and occasionally literal storms.
3. Tradition: When I first came to Arkansas, it was strange to hear children address their own parents as Sir or Ma’am, and intimate adult friends as Miss or Mister. But I’ve since come to appreciate our “old-fashioned” customs as more than merely quaint. My sons know when to Yes Ma’am or No Sir. They are reminded to open doors for others, and to beg pardon when they don’t hear. Better to be accused of too many manners than none at all. 
4. History: Arkansas is a living history classroom, from the mysterious mounds of the Plum Bayou tribes, to the legendary grave of French stowaway Petit Jean, to famous battle sites of the civil war and civil rights.  Anywhere we go in our state, there’s occasion to learn or wonder about the people who stood there before us. Arkansas history is American history.
5. Culture:  Growing up in Arkansas, my boys get to swim in the cross currents of many cultures: rural, urban, Ozark, Delta, midwest, southwest, contemporary and traditional.  We can see masterworks of historic and modern art at the Arkansas Art Center or Crystal Bridges Museum. We can learn folk arts at the Ozark Folk Center. We can watch hip hop performers or hear bluegrass music at River Fest. And the happiest of all these cultural convergences takes place in our stomachs. Pit barbecue and fried catfish, artisan breads and heritage vegetables, curry and taco truck specials, funnel cakes at the State Fair and crepes on the Bentonville town square. We embrace it all.
6. Opportunity: Arkansas has been good to me. I established my writing voice and became nationally published from here. Small ponds are not bad places for little fish to grow big. It used to be that “making it” meant moving away to a major center, and hustling your way past the hordes of other people there to accomplish the very same thing. The digital age has changed all that. It’s possible to succeed in big city markets without sacrificing the quality of life and low cost of living we enjoy here. My boys may well grow up and move away to achieve their dreams, but they don’t necessarily have to. There are success stories of every scale, in every field, right here at home, to inspire them.

What do you think makes Arkansas a great place to raise a family?

I have a confession to make: I’m not a very neighborly neighbor. I’m rather shy about knocking on someone’s door, and the people who live around me are apparently shy about knocking on mine. I’m sure it would horrify people of my parent’s and grandparent’s generation, but I only know two of my immediate neighbors by name, and that’s only by first names. Perhaps it’s a city thing, or maybe the times have changed all over. Today we have so many ways of connecting with and extending our chosen communities, we aren’t as dependent upon those with whom we are thrown together by chance.

Photo credit: Whitney Loibner

Down the street, there’s an annual block party, organized by people who have been living in our subdivision for a long time. They’ve seen many of their original neighbors move on to nursing homes, and young families like ours move in. We sit in a circle of lawn chairs, and one by one, each family introduces themselves. It’s a lovely tradition, and I try not to miss it. Unless we have kids the same age, I rarely see those neighbors between block parties– but I like that moment of learning (or being reminded) who they are.

When I began a blog eight years ago, I was barely aware of any other women blogging from Arkansas. My peers were spread all over the country–even in other nations. We were pioneers settling a new media frontier, and where we came from mattered less than the communities were forming online. I was well established in blogging before I started getting to know women bloggers in my Arkansas neighborhood. I had no idea what I was missing.

Today, some of my dearest friends, and many fond acquaintances, are Arkansas women bloggers. I don’t have to wait long months and travel hundreds of miles to find someone who understands the personal and professional ups and downs of writing online. My RSS feed is peppered with local blogs that are the equal and better of those published anywhere. I maintain a wonderful network of blogging friends across the continent, but I also know where to look for insight, support, and kinship in my own backyard. Knowing Arkansas women bloggers enriches both my digital and physical communities.

Our daily lives may take us in different directions, but I still like learning who my neighbors are. I’m grateful to AWB for inviting us to pull up a chair and introduce ourselves.

I’m Kyran Pittman, and my online home is www.PlantingDandelions.com. Welcome, neighbors.

Written by Jaqueline Wolven, Arkansas Women Bloggers Miss July 2013

In the last several days I have had three people, plus myself, have 7th grade moments due to social media, blogging, and the ability to “see” what other people are doing. Let me break a few down for you and then tell you why we have to stop competing and fall back into love with our own lives.
A fellow blogger had a minor melt down because she saw another social media person in her area seem to rise ahead more quickly – in days, actually – and she didn’t think she could replicate or compete with that.

Another blogger lamented on Facebook that her book wasn’t as good, shiny, or special as another bloggers and didn’t think she would be as successful as the other person.

Another friend on social media was sad because she wasn’t invited to a party she saw posted on Facebook even though she thought she was friends with all the same people.

And me, well I stupidly used the Just Unfollow tool for Twitter to see who had un-followed me. I was angry and sad that a business that I totally support and care about didn’t seem to think I was worthy of their tweets anymore.

This doesn’t count all the times I, personally, have felt that I am not as good, pretty, special as other people on any given day. Sure, I felt this way in 7th grade when I wasn’t invited to the “cool kids” party. I thought I had gotten over those feelings of comparison until social media and blogging came on the scene. Now it can be worse because we see all the shiny happy things that people post and we think we might be missing out or we see that other people are having success and we aren’t.

In complete honesty, I was totally jealous and behaved badly towards lovely Lela Davidson because I was so completely jealous of what I thought she had. Yes, I am embarrassed beyond words about this, but it happens. Cringing just even thinking about it.
So, how do we get out of this comparison? Well, I have two things I do when I feel that feeling coming up.

1. I, out loud, and to the person if I can, say that I am happy for their success. I may not REALLY at that moment feel it, but I say it. Saying it makes it feel more real. If I can’t say it to them I just say it out loud wherever I am. Really. (Lela, I really and truly do wish you the ultimate success!)
2. Then, I take a moment to have gratitude for the things I do have, knowing that I don’t have less because someone supposedly has more. I have what I am supposed to have at that moment and if I want something different I need to work towards that, not feel bad that someone has it.
   We need to start celebrating our own lives because comparison is the thief of joy. Let’s commit to falling in love with our here and now and working on our future! We can do this!

***Note: I will be talking through more steps to doing this at the Arkansas Women Bloggers Unplugged conference. I hope you will join me.
Thank you so much for allowing me to be Ms. July 2013 here at Arkansas Women Bloggers. It has been wonderful to share a little of my world with you and I hope we continue to connect along the way.

Written by Jaqueline Wolven, Arkansas Women Bloggers Miss July 2013

I am an idealist, bright eyes and good intentions. I believe that the world is a good place and that the people in it want to help one another. It is because of that overarching feeling that I believe that all of this blogging business isn’t just to spew out our latest crisis, offer our recipe for smothered chicken or show off our perfect little lives. No, it is to connect one another to new people, new ideas, and to help each other. See, I told you I was idealistic.

Recently, I started #DoGoodMonday as a way to highlight a project, idea, person, or a goal that needed funding. In 2013, I am focused primarily on DonorsChoose.org and PureCharity.com, but other projects and organizations cross through too. My idea is that we, as bloggers, can highlight areas that need a little funding. We can share those projects and passions and make things happen. Since I started, every project that I focused on has been funded, usually within the day. We are helping teachers, families and organizations make a better world. Doesn’t that seem amazing?

It just occurred to me one day that the internet and social media wasn’t here to share the latest cat video, we could really do something for other people. I don’t have a ton of money, I’m not the Gates Foundation, but I do know how to share good causes and ideas. My little donation of $10 isn’t going to go very far, but our voices as bloggers and social media masterminds can; we can make difference.

I would LOVE it if Arkansas Women Bloggers would join me for #DoGoodMonday and either share a project they are passionate about or help fund something cool I find as I skip over cat tricks and head into the world of passion and need out there!

Written by Sarabeth Jones, Arkansas Women Blogger Miss June 2013

I used to absolutely adore those Choose Your Own Adventure books, didn’t you? You read along for a few pages, then the choice:

• If you want to fight the monster in hopes of getting the treasure, turn to page 85.
• If you decide you’d rather live than take your chances in battle, turn to page 12.

I loved that feeling of sitting there, weighing my options, trying to figure out which choice would lead to greater things. I still love that feeling today.

Here’s the thing: even though I’m are all grown up now, I still have to choose our own adventure sometimes. Sure, sometimes great adventures are plopped into my lap, but more often, my days are shaped by routines, obligations, habits. But I can still have an adventure right in the middle of that. I just might have to choose my own.

This year, I’ve been on that sort of adventure: one I’ve chosen. It’s been fun, and hard, and not what I expected it to be. In February, a group of people started working their way through a book together – Jen Hatmaker’s 7. In it, she tells about going through 7 months of trying to rid her life of excess; she focuses a month on each of the following areas: food, clothing, possessions, media, waste, spending, and stress. It’s really a set of 7 month-long fasts, and her story is so compelling that by the time I finished I wanted to do it too.

So, in February we began, each agreeing to handle our month in whatever way we decided fit for us. I ate 7 foods all month long. In March, I wore the same 7 items of clothing. In April, I gave away possessions all month long (the goal being 7 a day). May brought (mostly) silence on my social media outlets. And this month, I’ve been gaining new habits, trying to reduce all the ways we waste.

Now, all those things have been good for me in a general lifestyle sort of way – bringing bad habits to my attention, making me a ‘better person.’ But the adventure comes in all the things that have happened as a result – things I couldn’t have seen coming.

I’ve gotten to know more women – some for the first time, some that I’m just getting to know more than on the surface – by being in this adventure together.

Our group learned about Pure Charity when they volunteered to give us all shirts to wear as one of our few clothing items during March.

I learned about letting go when we decided to have a free garage sale and raised $750 for charities dear to us.

It’s been incredible, really. I’ve had plenty of people look at me like I’m crazy (or sometimes they ask). But it’s been a journey – an adventure – that like every adventure, has taught me about myself and what I believe. It’s opened me up to trust and faith, and reminded me of the goodness of community. It’s made my life richer and deeper – and I didn’t even have to leave home.

So what do you think? Where could you choose your own? Or where are you choosing it already?

PS: Thanks so much for reading along this June! I’ve loved being the featured blogger and getting to know more of you through the comments and new connections here at ARWB. Looking forward to more of the same in the future!

Written by Sarabeth Jones, Arkansas Women Blogger Miss June 2013

Recently, I was talking to my dear friend Alison, and she was explaining a decision she had made which was going to put her into some uncomfortable circumstances for a day or two. She admitted that things weren’t ideal, but then said, “I thought about it, and decided that these are the kind of stories I want to be telling. So I’m doing it.”
You know those little moments when someone says something and it just sticks? It takes on more meaning than the speaker probably intended, because it’s what you need to hear at a certain time.
This little sentence has stuck with me.
This is a close cousin to saying yes, I think, but it puts the focus a little farther out. When I’m looking at a decision it’s easy to let the difficulties stop me. This is going to be too hard. Probably not the right thing to do. It’s too much trouble, or time, or money. I don’t know how.
But if I stop and ask myself this question – is this the kind of story I want to be telling? Well then, that could help me push through.
It’s not a new thought by any means: if you want to do something, you have to set your eyes on the end goal to get through the parts that are hard on the way. It’s just that this is the metaphor that speaks to me – a great story. I love to tell them, don’t you? I want to have a zillion more to tell.
It’s worth noting that the same thing applies to the stories that come to us: we all know that there are things we choose to enter into, and things that powerfully shape our lives that we have no control over. Still, though, we can choose the story we tell, in our writing and with our lives.
So remind me, won’t you? And I’ll remind you – is this the kind of story you want to be telling?

Oh, in case you were wondering – Alison’s story turned out beautifully. Here’s hoping mine and yours will too.

Crazy coincidence: Last week while I was putting these thoughts together, I saw that a favorite creative, Blaine Hogan, made this question into a set of wallpapers for your desktop, phone, or iPad. You can get them here.