By Amanda Farris

Y’all- Life is Messy.
It’s not perfect. But it is awesome.

So just for fun- I wanted to share with you 10 things I love about my life in the here and now. You might almost call it The Silver Lining. Here are 10 IMPERFECT things that I love about my life now. 

It’s Messy and Imperfect but I love it.  

1. Mud Puddle– We have this annoying spot in our driveway that has lost its gravel. It’s quite an eye sore. But I wouldn’t fix it for anything right now. I LOVE that my kids play in it after every rain. They love it.
2. Towel Drawer- Okay, I would much rather this drawer be neat and orderly. But it’s not and I love it. I love it messy because my kids are helping me do the chores and this is part of their duties. I’d rather have their help than have perfection.
3. Toy Mess– Behind this mess are 3 happy kids who are living an adventure using their imaginations. Seriously, it’s a riot over here.
4. I’m not alone. Yes, it gets crazy over here. Most of the time it is. Most of the time I have someone wiping greasy hands on my shirt, someone is asking me why, and one is sword fighting in public with a stick they smuggled in the car. But guess what. I don’t do life alone and I love it. 
5. Rural Living– Yes sometimes I get frustrated that I have to drive an hour to visit Target and Hobby Lobby. But I wouldn’t trade the conveniences of city living for the easy Sunday’s of rural living.



6. Leftovers- This my friends,  is my favorite thing to eat for supper. True Story. Leftovers are What’s Up. No Cooking- and Easy Clean Up. Win. 
7. Kids Kitchen Drawer– So, I lose drawer space in my kitchen by giving a drawer to my kids. Yes, It is loud and annoying when they get it all out. But, they have a great time and I want them to love being in the kitchen with me. 
8. Toilets– I clean my toilet every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. It’s not because I’m OCD. It’s because I have 2 little boys who are potty training. Enough Said. But having a toilet to clean means I have indoor plumbing. Oh yes! Totally worth it. 
9. Crumbs– I’m not really a big fan of sweeping after every single snack or meal. But I am a big fan of having a pantry of food and a family to enjoy it with. I’ll take the crumbs and the extra work. 
10. Minivan- Yep. I was one of those who said I’d NEVER drive a minivan. I was way too cool. Now I drive a mom ride and I’m okay with it. It’s not my dream vehicle, but it means that I have 3 little people to hang out with, do life with, and go places with.

What’s the Silver Lining in your life?
What’s messy but still good?

Amanda Farris is a wife to her super hero hunk of a husband and a mother to 3 little kiddos. Amanda is a teacher/coach who hung up her coaching whistle after she got promoted to motherhood. She is a runner who loves all things sports and outdoors. She loves early morning traveling, long coffee chats with her husband, and fresh flowers on her table. She is an adventurer at heart and has a great talent of unintentionally becoming over-busy (that’s a bad thing). So she is constantly reevaluating her life priorities which keeps her on her toes and helps her to live life passionately and deliberately.  Come Join the Adventure.

This month, we are focusing on the word ‘Adore’. A couple of my fellow Arkansas Women Bloggers volunteered to share some of their favorite memories with us. I love the way that memories can provide us with joy, strength, and motivation right when we need it.

First up: Kayla Shown-Dean, blogger at Kidean Around who shows us that even when things don’t go exactly as planned, they can still make great memories. Below she shares her memory of her very eventful wedding day (btw, she and her husband will celebrate 6 years of matrimony this year)

“After over six months of planning, it was finally here—the day of my wedding. While I’d like to say everything went according to plan, it did not. Preston and I had originally planned to get married under the weeping willow tree at the bark (where he proposed), but a few weeks before the wedding, the tree was struck by lightning and had to be removed. So we decided to get married in the gazebo instead. We ordered chairs and reorganized to make this a possibility, only to have four days of rain before the wedding, flooding the park. We had booked the university for our reception, so we hurriedly arranged for the ceremony to take place in the lobby on the stairwell and moved the reception into the banquet hall. It was chaotic and crazy, but everything was finally falling into place; it was finally my wedding day.

But I was so nervous.

When I came out of the dressing room and turned to walk down the aisle, over 200 pairs of eyes greeted me, beaming. I beamed back, the traditional blushing bride, but inside the flutterflies were launching air strikes on my poor unsuspecting stomach. I felt my face burn red, and in my anxiety, kicked my shoes off to the side. (Yeah, I know I still get comments about being the barefoot bride). But still, I made it down the aisle and up the stairs, taking my place by Preston’s side.
But those pesky flutterflies were relentless.

Their previous assaults left me shaking in a cold sweat, and our Pastor just kept babbling on and on and on…so I did it! I called a time out. I grabbed my maid of honor and made a bee line for the upstairs bathroom, only to discover that the bathroom door was blocked due to the construction on the second floor. Then my crowd of guests got the honor of hearing me swear in frustration—something I never do! The crowd burst into whispers of my obvious pregnancy or dissatisfaction with the groom. Some thought I had the flu, but I was just hot…hot and nervous (which I found out later I had good reason to be since they had shut the air off because of the construction and forgot to turn it back on).

When the ceremony reconvened, thirty minutes later, I was much better—well as long as my sister kept a moist towel on my back, and Preston held me up while simultaneously fanning my face with his hands and by breathing on me. Of course, I still had to tell our minister to “hurry it up”—which you can even hear on the DVD. But it all ended nicely.
I mean, we didn’t have enough cake for our guests, our caterer forgot some of our food, and the groom’s cake melted. But over all, it was the perfect wedding—and one that my guests have never forgotten. Especially after my ex-boyfriend crashed the reception. Apparently, one of my bridesmaids posted about my running off stage during all the excitement, and he saw it and showed up…hoping to pick up the pieces? (I don’t know.) I was mad. I thought Preston would be mad. I thought he would yell. But instead, he simply slid his arm around me, walked up to the creep, and said smugly, “I won.” Then we walked away.

Our wedding was one wild, memorable day…and it was truly indicative of the rest of our lives.”

Next we have Julie Kohl, blogger at Eggs and Herbs sharing a bit about the origins of a sweet (and humorous) Valentine’s Day tradition.

“One of my favorite memories of my husband was when we were still newly married (only about three years). We were teaching in the same school district and Valentine’s Day came along. My husband NEVER buys flowers, let alone any kind of gift. So it was unexpected when some high school kids came to my classroom with a HUGE bouquet of 2 dozen long stem roses. Along with the bouquet, they serenaded me with a rendition of “L is for the way you look tonight”. The whole time I was flattered but wondering what terrible thing my husband had done that he felt the need to buy 2 dozen long stem roses!

Later in the day the truth finally came out and he told me that the flowers had actually been delivered to one of his high school students from a former boyfriend. She absolutely didn’t want them so my hubby offered to buy them from her for 20$. Ha! THIS was totally my husband. In future years, on Valentine’s, girls were rushing to be the first to offer him their unwanted flowers. I got recycled bouquets for several years and they were absolutely perfect!”

What is your favorite memory? Share in the comments below.

Tiffany Hathorn has been blogging since the summer of 2010. She got started as a way to document her pregnancy and her life as a first-time mother. Since then, her blog has transformed into a chronicle of her life as a single WAHM. She blogs about raising her son solo, working from home, and her journey as a homeschooling mom. If you would like to follow Tiffany, you may do so bysubscribing to her blog or liking her fan page.

By Kayla I. Shown-Dean

While we are going crazy trying to provide for our families, we often forget why we chose to have them in the first place. We forget why we married our spouses and what made us fall in love with them before we had a house full of minions and only did so out of responsibility. It’s easy to become distracted, trapped in the everyday humdrum of life. I’m a very task-oriented person, and at times, I get so focused on my tasks that I forget to see that life is about people. During these times, I often miss the adorable little things that my husband does that one day a long time ago, completely swept me off my feet.

1.)    He’s makes small daily sacrifices.

I know that my husband is not a fan of Grey’s Anatomy. He’d probably rather go to the dentist than sit through an hour-long episode of educated men and women (doctors) fawn over unavailable love interests while saving the lives of accident victims. Still, if he has the option to sit with me through an episode of one of my favorite TV shows or go in another room, my husband will patiently sit through a torturous love affair all the while holding my hand. Similarly, he often doesn’t mind listening to my music in the car even though we have differing tastes in music.

 

2.)    He listens to me.

While it often may not seem like he’s listening to me—when I ask him to take out the trash, for instance, my husband does make an daily effort to be involved in my life. He makes it a habit to ask me every day how my day was, and he genuinely listens to me as I tell him the details of an exciting conversation or the dramatic confrontation that happened between two friends. While he may not really care about who “Jessa” is now dating, he at least feigns interest because he knows it matters to me.

3.)    He makes everything an adventure.

When my husband and were dating, we didn’t have a lot of money, so a date for us was often a trip to the park, a five-dollar pizza, or yes, even a trip to Hastings. I remember getting into the car with him once and learning that our date night would consist of a trip to Wal-Mart and Sonic. I remember telling him, “But that’s what we did last time?” His response was to think of it as a mission. We were on a mission to get groceries and it was imperative to complete the task on time. That night, he left me in Wal-Mart; I looked for him for nearly an hour in one of the most epic games of hide-and-seek we’ve ever had. It’s this quality that made me fall in love with him and prompted the celebration of said quality through our wedding topper.

4.)    He helps…or at least, he tries.

With my husband and I both working, the state of our home is almost constantly in disarray. Often, because I’m so busy, I rely on my husband to help out with things such as laundry or dishes. More than once, I’ve come home to a mess as I’ve learned his version of cleaning is more like my version of straightening. Still though, I’ve learned to choose my battles and appreciate the small things he does. After all, while the sippy cups may not go in the cabinet with the skillets and are missing their lids, at least they are clean and off the counter. 

5.)    He laughs with me.

People often forget how important laughter is to a relationship. While you do want someone to take you seriously, ladies, you also want someone who knows how to laugh, someone who pulls juvenile pranks on his father, who starts a water fight or slams cake in your face just to get a rise out of you. Because isn’t life filled with enough serious situations? When the pressure is on, no one can make me smile like my husband.

6.)    He’s my best friend.

My girlfriends may get jealous about this one, but he truly is. While I love my girlfriends, I sincerely doubt any of them would grab a rake off of the shopping rack at Lowe’s and run through the store riding it like a broomstick with me; they’d probably pull out their phones and start Googling the nearest psychiatric help center. But, yes, my husband and I have actually done this, and no, it wasn’t when we were dating; it was last year.

Not only will he act like a total buffoon with me in public, but he’ll hold me while I cry over getting “dumped” by a childhood friend. He’ll let me get away with my little flaws and mistakes and only communicate his disapproval through knowing glances. Yet he still holds me accountable when I’ve really crossed the line by making me swallow my pride and say those most difficult words to a loved one: “I’m sorry.” And when I’m throwing myself the world’s biggest pity party afterward, he’ll soothe my wounded pride by telling me I’m beautiful and bringing me ice cream. He grocery shops with me and cleans with me; plays board games with me and my son and takes him to a sitter when he knows (whether I do or not) that we need to get away. He’s the person I do everything with, but I’m just as happy doing nothing with.

We all lose sight of things in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we may take our spouses for granted or forget about their wants and needs in lieu of the children’s or our own. Yet, I hope I never lose sight of the reasons why I fell in love with my husband in the first place, why I decided to marry him, and what led to us creating a life and a family together. That is what makes these small, yet adorable things worth remembering.

Kayla I. Shown-Dean has published her first novel, Muted. She is also a blogger, a member of White County Creative Writers, and a regular contributor to shortfictionbreak.com.

In addition to writing, Kayla has a full-time job at a local university, and she teaches English part-time as an adjunct. She lives with her husband and son, who is a preschooler. When she has free time, Kayla enjoys reading, writing, blogging, painting, drawing, and singing. Visit her blog at www.kideanaround.com.

(Kayla and her husband, Preston, have been married for 5 years.)