Fear of Missing Out
Written by Brittney Lee of Razorback Britt
I’m not a scaredy-cat. Over the last several years, I’ve conquered plenty of fears. I can now squish a spider, I’ve killed a snake (we live in the country, so they are frequent visitors!), I sleep through thunderstorms, and I can eat dinner out alone. However, I’m struggling with one fear.
I call this fear FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out.
It’s real. I feel this fear every time I get an invitation for a lunch date, a concert, a girls’ night out, a charity event. This fear results in overcommitting myself to the point that I’m contemplating buying more socks because I don’t know when I’ll squeeze in a load of laundry.
See, I have some pretty great people in my life. And these lovely people do awesome things. My husband likes to go play tennis. A friend started teaching a Bible study. Another friend loves musicals. Another friend runs. My mom enjoys shopping. Here is where the problem comes in: They all want me to be a part of this fun with them.
My husband wants to play tennis Wednesday evening after work. My friend’s Bible study is also Wednesday evening.Ok….I’ll go to Bible study and then I’ll play tennis. Problem solved. For today.
Then, “musical friend” invites me to a show next Saturday.“Runner friend” asked me to do a 5k with her that very samemorning. Mom wants to check out a new boutique in town that afternoon. Ok, I’ll squeeze it all in on Saturday. First the 5k, then shopping with mom, then the musical. Sure, all of this makes for a fun “Weekend Recap” blog post over at Razorback Britt, but it’s exhausting.
I can’t keep it up.
Here is my problem: It’s all fun stuff. These people are allwonderful people I want to spend time with. But it never fails:everything happens at the same time!
It’s so tough. I hate the thought of missing out on something fun.I despise the idea of disappointing someone. However, I’m learning I have to prioritize my time for my sanity.
Here is my magic word to help me rid myself of FOMO: margin. See, papers have margins for a reason. The space at the top and sides of the paper make it easier for you to read theimportant stuff writtenon the page. The white space gives your eye a place to go to take breaks. I need margin in my life. I have to say “No!” to things that sound fun. I have to say “No!” to people I love spending time with. But I have to say “No!” I need that margin to make the important stuff matter.
I’m trying a new thing where I keep at least one weekend each month open, purposefully not making plans. When those weekends roll around, I can fill them with spontaneous fun, necessary tasks, or things that I want to do just for me.
I’m also keeping one night a week open. Mondays are my “margin” nights. I don’t care what Bible study/charity event/musical you invite me to…if it’s a Monday, I’m saying “No!” to you. Mondays are my margin.
The funny thing is, the more I’m saying “No!” the easier it rolls off my tongue. The more margins I create in my life, the more I crave that down time.
Do you suffer from Fear Of Missing Out? FOMO can be cured with a simple two letter word. Say “No!” to something. Give it a try. Create some margin. You need it. Your family needs it.Your home needs it.
My name is Brittney. And I’m overcoming FOMO every day.
Brittney blogs at Razorback Britt about her life, her furbabyMikey, and her love of Zumba. She also does this 9-5 thing to pay the bills over at U-Pack, so if you are moving, she’s your girl.
I loved reading your confession and solution. I usually try to do everything, too, especially when it involves people I love and have fun with. I think a lot of it has been not wanting to disappoint anyone. Consequently, I find myself too busy, which makes me stressed and cranky and actually takes away from the fun. So, I’ve learning to say No, too. But it doesn’t come naturally. I like the thought of having margins in our lives. Great image. I don’t work anymore, so it’s easier for me to be alone, to be quiet and think about what really matters. I hope we’ll both stick to it. Thanks for sharing!
Dorothy, do I know the feeling! Margins make life so much better….good luck on finding yours!
Well-written, Brittney!
I have a different variety of the same problem. I go for weeks without any unscheduled events, but as soon as I say “yes” to one invitation, five or six other event jump onto the same date! Then I have to decide which one I prefer and always feel I’m missing so much because these people will NOT get together and develop a schedule! 😀
If only everyone would comply with our free dates, right? That’s why I like to try and coordinate everything too, so I can attempt to do it all…instead of prioritizing. It never works though!