Filtered (does not equal) Fake
Written by Jody Dilday, Miss February 2014
An observation: there seem to be two distinct camps in the vast virtual world. You’re either completely RAW – as in say anything, share everything, push the envelope, “how shocking can I be?” or . . . you’re “practically perfect in every way” (read in your beat Mary Poppins impersonator voice) – which makes people simultaneously loathe you and want to be you! (Or at least have your gorgeous home, your perfect family, your zany sense of humor, your impeccable style, your way with words, etc., etc. etc.)
Many people have complimented me for my sunny disposition on Facebook, but I would venture to guess that an equal number of acquaintances roll their eyes and mutter under their breath when they read some of my posts. I’m no dummy. I’ve heard acquaintances criticizing others for being too positive (otherwise known as fake) online. Some are accused of cultivating an online image of perfection, of only posting blissfully happy family photos, of staging their recipe photos in a kitchen worthy to be featured in Better Homes and Garden, or simply “blowing sunshine” (to put it politely).
Call me old fashioned, but I try to follow the advice of all our moms and grandmas who who said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” (As opposed to Clairee Belcher in Steel Magnolias who said, “If you can’t say something nice, come and sit by me!”)
I’m not Pollyanna. It’s not that I don’t THINK not-so-nice things and I don’t have really lousy days. Life at casa Dilday ain’t perfect. Kids get bad grades, they get grounded, I burn dinner, and sometimes we have cereal for supper. (Sometimes life is MUCH harder than that but, even now, I choose not to say more.) So just because I’m not airing all of the not-so-good stuff via social media, that doesn’t mean I’m not “keeping it real.” I just happen to believe that there is enough crapola, mean-spiritedness and negativity out there without me adding to it.
So I CHOOSE to look on the bright side and share only what I think will be uplifting. I believe that among my gifts is that of being an encourager. I feel compelled to intentionally use my voice for good. I’m not trying to appear to be something I am not. I am, however, doing what my mother taught me, and hopefully I am teaching my kids the same through my example.
So while my home decor/marriage/career/life is not perfect, I will focus on what is good and share it. That doesn’t mean I am fake, it means I have a filter and I know how to use it!
AMEN, SISTER!
I loved everything about this post.
Thank-you.
Thanks, y’all! I had serious second thoughts about this post. I didn’t want it to come across as preachy. To each their own and all that good stuff…. This is just what works for ME.
I think you are receiving a resounding round of applause!
My filter is more likely to come off in person 😉
They say to let your hair down sometimes, but if we take that to mean ALL the time, then it isn’t special, doesn’t attract, is just the same ol’…
However, if we keep it filtered and then let a bit of the cat out of the bag, then the reader appreciates it.
All things in moderation?
Love the post. Thanks for it 🙂
I so agree with you. I often scratch my head at the things people air on FB. Life is too short to be negative. I choose happy:)
Yes yes yes. Thank you for this, Jody!
Good words, Jody. The way I see it, it’s a lot like music or a TV show–if you don’t like it, turn it off. People have a choice in what to read/watch/listen to. And, you just never know when something you write about will inspire or uplift someone else, even in the smallest of ways. I’ve found much comfort and reassurance from reading blogs by my friends and some strangers, too. Keep on keepin’ on, my friend.
Oh, I so agree with this. I struggle with this when I write use social media as well. I don’t want to air my dirty laundry, but I don’t want to seem to goody goody either. But I stick with the positive. ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” has been my reminder, many, many times. I’m glad to see others feel the same.