I Celebrate Life With Stinky Cheese.

Written by AWB October 2012 Blogger of the Month, Heidi Clark of The Busy Nothings.

I celebrate life with stinky cheese.

I’ll explain…
The last few years have wrecked me. Life didn’t turn out like what I thought it was going to- which sounds a bit juvenile even to me even as I write this, because really who ever gets their fairy tale? Perhaps some people realize this at different points in their lives. I’m not sure if I was just really that dumb or optimistic that if I made all the right choices that everything would work.
Actually, I know that is what it was. I thought if I wasn’t an idiot and made the best possible choices that my life would go as planned. I thought that I was in control.
I breathed out a secret to a friend, and immediately was fearful that since I uttered my deepest fear with arms over my first unborn child that it would come true… and it did.
Sometimes I find myself subconsciously wrapping my sweater tightly around and layering it over my ribs and squeezing myself tight. I am living through my personal worst nightmare. To some, my nightmare isn’t as bad as what theirs is, we all have our private fears that we lock away inside that part of us that doesn’t want to even think it for a second.
We smile tightly through a mask when we comfort those who are grieving and bargain with God whether or not we believe in him, “I could never deal with that, you are so brave and strong,” we murmur, telling fate not to mess with US.
So what happens when you are hit in the face with that locked away fear, the one you are scared to whisper?
You breathe in and out. You tighten your sweater around your body and choose to live again. You begin to realize that what you survived really just made you that much stronger.
I enjoy new things. I look for beauty everywhere because it’s still there, even if it’s hard to see some days. I slice stinky goat cheese and rejoice that my palate has changed to appreciate it. I choose to love every part of my life, even the parts that grate at my heart daily. I celebrate life with stinky cheese.
To read more about Heidi and Summit and William’s Syndrome please visit her blog The Busy Nothings.

4 comments

  2. Amanda says:

    Thank you for such honesty and vulnerability! What a beautiful reminder to be willing to whisper our fears and be willing to face them.
    Amanda

    • Heidi Clark says:

      thanks so much for commenting! I appreciate it! It’s been a hard month and sometimes I grieve more than others but like to share that so others experiencing it know they aren’t alone! Sorry I never emailed you back! we need to connect Stu Mo lady! 😀

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