A Kid Again—How we took a teen into our home and he took us into his heart…
Written by Katharine Trauger of Home’s Cool!

Sonny* called us boring.

Probably we are. A retired educator and her scientist/pastor husband, we submitted him to schedule, rules, actual food, bathing, vacuuming, and other marks of civilization that he deplored. However, if you consider all it meant for a sixteen-year-old boy to live within a family,instead of with a drugged mom, you’d call it a life-changing start for him.

His appetites for real food and for real entertainment matured slowly. Chess, dirt racing, walks in the woods, and great old movies competed with fresh smoothies, steaks, salads, and homemade pizzas for a chance at wooing him away from memories of life in what he called “a pigpen”.

Sonny had never had a dependable father-type and latched onto my husband like a puppy. The man could do no wrong, in Sonny’s eyes, and could drive home a serious lecture, if needed. Before long my husband had him bathing, submitting to haircuts, and wearing a belt!

How to use a washcloth, how to cut meat with a fork and knife, how to eat something that’s not sweet, how to use a ruler, tell time, multiply, or write cursive were among the many basic skills he lacked. Yet his reading level was high and his knowledge of history, beyond mine. He agreed to home schooling and we filled in gaps as we encountered them.

Before long, a crazy quilt of new ideas from history, biology, algebra, and even spelling, swirled around him, forcing his timidity to bloom into hundreds of questions. I became his sounding board. What a joy! What a test of my counselor training!

And what a kid! In spite his horrible past, Sonny was pure in thought and starved for truth. Weturned him loose in our library and he almost always had a book in the car after that, instead of pretending to sleep along the way.

Yes, we forced Sonny to attend church with us. He did not like it, except once a month, during church dinners. He actually desired learning to cook and created a delicious cherry pie to bring tohis first church dinner. The attention that brought him, from the sweet grandmas, was just what he needed. During the weekly drive home from church, he’d pelt us with amazing questions that proved he’d only been pretending to sleep during the sermon.

My husband, being Sonny’s alpha-male, required he attend a men’s retreat with him this Fall. While they were there, it seemed only natural that Sonny give his life over to the Lord. Radical changes immediately sprouted into his everyday routines. We cherish several quotables from this new-sparkle time in his life, the greatest of which, probably, is: “It is ridiculous to argue about putting God in a box. God IS the box. We are the ones in a box.”

I still get tears when I realize the depth of the core work God created in Sonny’s heart that week. As he grew and matured, his prickly personality relaxed into someone we could freely befriend. It became a time of great advancement for him, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Sonny’s mom has reclaimed him, now. Says she’s well, now, after five months of rehab. It saddens us, but we realize we were not in charge, but only tools, chosen to give them both a new START in life.

We pray they take it.

*Not his name.

Katharine is a retired educator/counselor, living in the land of love
and Delight! She blogs at Home’s Cool! and at The Conquering Mom. When she is not busy furiously typing on a netbook by candlelight because of an ice storm and her laptop battery is weak, she enjoys poking more logs into
the fire and having another hot coffee/cocoa/tea. Her tenth grandchild
is due in March.”