Living Beyond Storms

by Keisha Pittman

I’m one 1 in 14 million. 
 
My mom always told me I was special and I did ride a short bus to school (but our school was small) I’m a GenXer and owned a shirt that said “I’m a winner” (I even wore it on school picture day). So I have a natural complex, but it’s true.I am 1 in 14 million – cancer survivors. And a part of the 20% decline in cancer mortality rate since 1991.
 
The short version goes something like this:
 
my neck swelled up during a play
so I went to my doctor the next day
I told him I didn’t have time
but the diagnosis put a lot on my mind
 
a few connections got me in to see
the best doctor at LR Hematology and Oncology
chemo and radiation were my friend (not)
and after 6 months I was back on the mend
 
I lost my hair
didn’t really care
lost my voice
and started making noise
 
Remission was the word I heard him say
and 6 years later, I’m still clear today 
 

That’s my rain storm. 

It was full of “hail” and lightening; strong winds and torrential down pours (aka – my new emotional gushes). 
But, a storm is only as bad as you call it and allow its path to leave destruction.

 
It wasn’t until it was all over that I decided I wanted to wallow.  I wanted the label, I wanted to
be recognized and respected for what I had “gone through”.  I was trying to live like a warrior; a victorious warrior.  But, I was being a cry baby and rather selfish.  
 

Hopefully I’m not the only one who has Braveheart, The Patriot and Remember the Titans in my top 10 movies (yes, the rest are chick flicks…you have me pegged appropriately). But what I love about these 3 movies are the “game day” speeches as the turning point in the movie. All of them take place at dark, stormy, foggy moment. I lived most of 2009 in a fog. Call it remnants from “chemo brain”, but I’m more convinced that it was my own little pity party. I was too worried about the scars from the past to look forward and live beyond my storm.

In an interview on 103.7 The Buzz last week, Bret Bielema (yes I listen to sports radio while I drive) made 2 strong comments and, to me, neither is really about football –“history is something that has already happened. It’s great to read about, some people write about it and a lot of reporters talk about it. But, the people who live their dreams live in the present and try to concentrate on today and look forward and scars are a great reminder, they are markings of things that have happened in the past”.

I have a big scar on my chest. It’s a marking that cancer left beyond, but it’s also something I don’t even notice is there any more.

Until someone sees it for the first time or makes a comment about it, I forget it’s even there. It’s a part of who I am now.  It’s part of my past, but it’s the perpetuator to how I move forward.

Life experiences do not have to be something we live in spite of.  We can LIVE FULLY and like a warrior, we can live LIVE BEYOND.

For rainbows to show up after the storm, a little sun always has to shine.

 

Thanks for letting me hang out with you this month. April, the month of my birth and my cancerversary, always proves to be super busy and intentionally connecting with you each week has been my privilege. Make sure you stop by and see me sometime over at bigpittstop, my landingpad to the life beyond. (or you can chirp at me on Twitter or “see” me on Instagram)

 

 

6 comments

  1. Laurie Marshall says:

    You’re an inspiring woman, Keisha – not only because of what you have dealt with in your own life, but because of the hope and carpe diem attitude you share with others who are also making their journey through cancer.

    So glad I know you! 🙂

  2. Katharine Trauger says:

    Thanks for this, Keisha.
    Oh, it can be so tempting to fall into the pity party and just stay there and wallow! Thanks for the reminder that whining tarnishes our winning. <3

  4. Debbie says:

    I’m so glad you are my friend. Thanks for sharing your story with us this month, and thanks for sharing your friendship, smiles and hugs with me:) Love you.

  5. Alison Chino says:

    Thanks so much for sharing your life with us this month Keisha! It’s been a privilege to have a little window into your world. Looking forward to meeting you for reals one day! XO

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