By Kayla I. Shown-Dean

While we are going crazy trying to provide for our families, we often forget why we chose to have them in the first place. We forget why we married our spouses and what made us fall in love with them before we had a house full of minions and only did so out of responsibility. It’s easy to become distracted, trapped in the everyday humdrum of life. I’m a very task-oriented person, and at times, I get so focused on my tasks that I forget to see that life is about people. During these times, I often miss the adorable little things that my husband does that one day a long time ago, completely swept me off my feet.

1.)    He’s makes small daily sacrifices.

I know that my husband is not a fan of Grey’s Anatomy. He’d probably rather go to the dentist than sit through an hour-long episode of educated men and women (doctors) fawn over unavailable love interests while saving the lives of accident victims. Still, if he has the option to sit with me through an episode of one of my favorite TV shows or go in another room, my husband will patiently sit through a torturous love affair all the while holding my hand. Similarly, he often doesn’t mind listening to my music in the car even though we have differing tastes in music.

 

2.)    He listens to me.

While it often may not seem like he’s listening to me—when I ask him to take out the trash, for instance, my husband does make an daily effort to be involved in my life. He makes it a habit to ask me every day how my day was, and he genuinely listens to me as I tell him the details of an exciting conversation or the dramatic confrontation that happened between two friends. While he may not really care about who “Jessa” is now dating, he at least feigns interest because he knows it matters to me.

3.)    He makes everything an adventure.

When my husband and were dating, we didn’t have a lot of money, so a date for us was often a trip to the park, a five-dollar pizza, or yes, even a trip to Hastings. I remember getting into the car with him once and learning that our date night would consist of a trip to Wal-Mart and Sonic. I remember telling him, “But that’s what we did last time?” His response was to think of it as a mission. We were on a mission to get groceries and it was imperative to complete the task on time. That night, he left me in Wal-Mart; I looked for him for nearly an hour in one of the most epic games of hide-and-seek we’ve ever had. It’s this quality that made me fall in love with him and prompted the celebration of said quality through our wedding topper.

4.)    He helps…or at least, he tries.

With my husband and I both working, the state of our home is almost constantly in disarray. Often, because I’m so busy, I rely on my husband to help out with things such as laundry or dishes. More than once, I’ve come home to a mess as I’ve learned his version of cleaning is more like my version of straightening. Still though, I’ve learned to choose my battles and appreciate the small things he does. After all, while the sippy cups may not go in the cabinet with the skillets and are missing their lids, at least they are clean and off the counter. 

5.)    He laughs with me.

People often forget how important laughter is to a relationship. While you do want someone to take you seriously, ladies, you also want someone who knows how to laugh, someone who pulls juvenile pranks on his father, who starts a water fight or slams cake in your face just to get a rise out of you. Because isn’t life filled with enough serious situations? When the pressure is on, no one can make me smile like my husband.

6.)    He’s my best friend.

My girlfriends may get jealous about this one, but he truly is. While I love my girlfriends, I sincerely doubt any of them would grab a rake off of the shopping rack at Lowe’s and run through the store riding it like a broomstick with me; they’d probably pull out their phones and start Googling the nearest psychiatric help center. But, yes, my husband and I have actually done this, and no, it wasn’t when we were dating; it was last year.

Not only will he act like a total buffoon with me in public, but he’ll hold me while I cry over getting “dumped” by a childhood friend. He’ll let me get away with my little flaws and mistakes and only communicate his disapproval through knowing glances. Yet he still holds me accountable when I’ve really crossed the line by making me swallow my pride and say those most difficult words to a loved one: “I’m sorry.” And when I’m throwing myself the world’s biggest pity party afterward, he’ll soothe my wounded pride by telling me I’m beautiful and bringing me ice cream. He grocery shops with me and cleans with me; plays board games with me and my son and takes him to a sitter when he knows (whether I do or not) that we need to get away. He’s the person I do everything with, but I’m just as happy doing nothing with.

We all lose sight of things in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we may take our spouses for granted or forget about their wants and needs in lieu of the children’s or our own. Yet, I hope I never lose sight of the reasons why I fell in love with my husband in the first place, why I decided to marry him, and what led to us creating a life and a family together. That is what makes these small, yet adorable things worth remembering.

Kayla I. Shown-Dean has published her first novel, Muted. She is also a blogger, a member of White County Creative Writers, and a regular contributor to shortfictionbreak.com.

In addition to writing, Kayla has a full-time job at a local university, and she teaches English part-time as an adjunct. She lives with her husband and son, who is a preschooler. When she has free time, Kayla enjoys reading, writing, blogging, painting, drawing, and singing. Visit her blog at www.kideanaround.com.

(Kayla and her husband, Preston, have been married for 5 years.)