Or, What I Wish I’d Known About Parenting and Ancient Sea Monsters Circa 2003.

Details on an Arkansas Women Bloggers Twitter Party tonight (Tuesday 8/14 at 8p CST) AND a free conference registration giveaway in this post!

When I was pregnant for the first time nearly a decade ago, I went through what I’ve learned is a common ailment affecting many new mothers-to-be: behavior best defined as psychosis.

First, I grabbed copies of What to Expect When You’re Expecting and, naturally, What to Eat When You’re Expecting.  In case you’re unfamiliar, these are massive volumes.  I began reading and nearly had a mental breakdown.  I bookmarked pages for my husband (which he dutifully ignored), informed him I was giving up sugar in all forms (which caused him to laugh out loud) and made copious notes on all my findings (which only increased my certainty that I was incapable of parenting).

At some point early in my pregnancy, I remember hearing that as a future Arkansas mom I could order my very own copy of the Happy Birthday Baby Book, and I pounced on the telephone (mounted to the wall) to dial what is known as a “toll-free number.”  Foreign concept, I know.  I waited for it to arrive in the mail, and found that it was pretty full of resources for parents in Arkansas as well as a quick, easy read.

Fast forward to today (that kid is entering the third grade on Monday, by the way): I’ve had another daughter who has cemented my belief that while I’m capable of parenting, I may barely survive the childhood of the Kraken.  Yes, that’s what we call our second-born, in reference to Liam Neeson as Zeus in Clash of the Titans (2010) yelling “Release the Kraken!” in reference to a threatening monster from Hades.

Here’s the point of that diatribe (sometimes I have one): just like my intelligent and helpful older daughter, the Happy Birthday Baby Book has grown up.  And, I’m far more likely to somehow emerge unscathed from the Kraken’s childhood thanks to the assistance of that intelligent and helpful older daughter AND the intelligent and helpful new Happy Birthday Baby Books. 

There are now TWO super useful editions: Book One (Pregnancy through Age 1) and Book Two (Newborn through Age 5), and they come in either ebook form (hallelujah!) or a very useful purse or diaper-bag size hard copy (click here to check them out and order copies!)  We shared recently that we were exceptionally excited to have Healthy Families as the Presenting Sponsor for the Arkansas Women Bloggers Unplugged Conference (click here to read that post!) next week.

Thanks to these books, I’m receiving the counseling I need to raise a good little Kraken.  For example: Plan play dates, but remember that your 1-year-old is too young to be expected to share (Book 2).  Oh.  Right.

Also: regarding the comments I’ve made to several of you about the Kraken being very OCD: Your 2-year-old may want to eat the same thing every day.  WHAT?  I’m telling you – the Happy Birthday Baby Books people know everything there is to know about parenting.

Now, don’t check out on me if you are a) not likely to have kids anytime soon, if ever b) SO DONE with pregnancy and childbirth, and wondering why we don’t sponsor a nanny giveaway already or c) enjoying feeding sweets to your grandchildren on a regular basis as revenge for the wrinkles their parents caused you.

Here’s the thing, bloggers: Healthy Communities Are Every Blogger’s Business.  That’s why I am making note to start ordering copies of these books for every mom-to-be I know.  I may even keep some extra copies in my car – I’ve been known to accost people who talk about politics with voter registration forms, reminding them they are welcome to share their opinion with me by visiting the polls.   I’m thinking I may start giving copies of these gems to random pregnant women.  That should help me win friends and influence people – right?

All kidding aside – we want you to join us in our enthusiasm at working with Healthy Families.  Put very simply, they get it, ladies.  We all want more healthy moms, healthy pregnancies, healthy babies and healthy communities – it’s good for all of us.  So join the fun: place the badge above on your own blog, tell everyone you know about this phenomenal program, click the links to check out the website and the books, and… (drum roll please):

Join us tonight (Tuesday, August 14) for our FINAL pre-#AWBU Twitter Party!  It’s a short one, and it kicks off at 8:00 p.m. CST.  You may want to click over before then to http://www.HealthyFamiliesNow.Net/ebooks to do some checking it out, because we will have some questions for you to answer tonight that just may win you goodies or a FREE conference registration!  Join us even if you are already registered (we’ll let you give the last spot away!) or even if you can’t come to the conference, we promise it will still be worth your time!  Just set up a Twitter column to follow #AWBU and #HFNow, and be sure to use those hashtags in every tweet so we can keep up with you!