by Alison Chino
I wrote these words down a year ago at AWBU.
A year later, I’m still listening.
Last year at AWBU, the conference for Arkansas Women Bloggers, I took a lot of notes. I had a lot of conversations. I laughed a lot. I cried a little (or a lot). I hugged a lot of ladies (and a couple of fellas). And I ate a lot of food.
But after the conference.
After I flew back to Scotland from Arkansas.
After the dust settled a few weeks later…
I still had this one thought or idea floating around from keynote speaker Alli Worthington.
Her talk was called Editing Life.
She told the story of how she had to let go of running a very successful blogging conference (BlissDom) in order to start the business that she is doing (and loving) now.
She asked us to think about all the commitments we have.
And then she said,
What can you let go of that feels like a relief?
The first thing that popped into my head was Social Media.
And I breathed a little sigh of relief even at the thought.
Phew.
Yes.
I thought,
If I could stop worrying about Social Media, I would be so relieved.
However, I did not immediately stop using Facebook, Twitter, Vine, Pinterest and Instagram.
I was afraid that my blog + writing would fall into oblivion.
It’s a bit of a Catch-22. The brain space that I need for writing is often taken up by social feeds, but if I leave the streams, will anyone know that I am writing? Will anyone read it?
But I had felt the cool breeze of possibility blow by when Alli asked her question,
the hope of the relief of letting go of something I no longer wanted to do.
So I decided to do some experimenting.
I got off of Facebook in November for #NaNoWriMo.
Then I went back on in December with limited access, giving myself fifteen minutes a day.
I tried to carry that into January.
By February I was back to checking All The Things All The Time.
So for the spring I tried to scale it back and return to a daily time limit, and I tried to keep myself to the same time every day, using alarms.
I learned some things from all of these experiments.
Here’s what I learned:
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I deeply struggle with time limits.
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A little bit of social media interaction is still a big distraction.
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My blog readership does not vary greatly because of my social media activity or lack thereof.
In May and June, I did some work for a company and part of my agreement was to provide Social Media coverage. I worked hard to keep everything updated and even to create videos from the day. But then in July I was going on vacation with my family and nothing we were doing was sponsored by anyone. (Nor for a lack of trying + asking!)
I realized that I was under no obligation whatsoever to keep up the kind of Social Media coverage I had done in May or June.
I remembered again what it would feel like to give it up. Relief.
Before we left on July 3, I deleted all the social apps off of my phone. I went radio silent for the whole month.
I went on walks with my family without thinking about what would be the most perfect pic for the Instagram frame. I played cards in the evenings. I read six books. I wrote lengthy journal entries instead of my usual fragmented phrases to later jot my memory. I went out in the evenings without even carrying a phone or a camera. One night I felt so free I did cartwheels in a giant field with my daughter. Another night I watched the sunset without taking a single photo. I bought a new set of watercolors and a sketchbook.
On August 1st, I asked myself if I wanted those apps back on my phone.
And I was almost surprised to realize that I did not. It really was a relief.
I’m still not sure I’m done for good with Social Media. I may find I need it again for a project, but for certain I will approach it a new way if I decide to re-engage.
And at the moment, I am enjoying the benefits of silencing that social buzzing in my writing life. Uninterrupted, less distracted time to write my heart out.
Friends, a year ago at AWBU, I walked away with a notebook full of ideas and thoughts.
I later narrowed those down to one idea. I let that idea sit with me and turned it into a goal that took me almost a year to even seriously consider. This journey of blogging (and life) is slow progress for me, y’all.
Listening to and connecting with other bloggers in person has been a huge gift to my growth as a blogger and a writer! I’m grateful for a place to continue to try on new hats and experiment from my tiny corner of the internet!
Can you remember something you learned at AWBU last year? Share it with me in the comments!
What are you hoping to learn this year? Are you going? You can still sign up to attend AWBU this year!
PS If it’s your first time, here’s a little helpful post I wrote this time last year for first time attendees of AWBU.
I have those exact phrases in the notes section of my phone taken from AWBU last year. I’m still mulling them over as well. Haven’t quite given up on social media, though. 😉
They were such good words, right! Yes, it’s definitely not the same for everyone. We all have different ways of needing to clear the decks to make space for what we really want to be doing. 🙂
I am my brand. And it fits not authentic to me then it won’t be sustainable. Keeping it real cause faking it is exhausting.
And if it’s not authentic, is what i meant to type.
Ooh that’s a good takeaway as well! I need to remember this one!
What a great lesson. I still struggle with letting things go.
I walked away from your session at AWBU last year with an itch to find my Grand Adventure and this year it is about to take flight! I am so excited to see where Project STIR takes me. Thanks so much for helping light the fire! 🙂
It’s SO hard to let things go! It has helped to think about Alli’s example of giving up such a huge thing (BlissDom) and how small the world did not end for her as a result. So giving my little (in comparison) things seems way more possible. 🙂
I’m so delighted that Project STIR is taking off and turning into a dream come true! Keep at it! 🙂
I walked away from Ali with a renewed investment in myself–give time to those things and people that are the most meaningful in my life. I’m very much a work in progress. I miss you friend.
YES! I love that. I definitely want to prioritize people and relationships.
MISS YOU TOO!! When are you coming to Scotland? 😉
Although I was not at AWBU last year (and am crying-sad I won’t be this year, either) I have heard the call to less, also.
And part of it was “less media time”. I have now cut back to “only when no one else is in the house” and also “only after….” (insert something important each day)
I’m back to making a to-do list that must be done before… and although my time on fb is branding and marketing time, it is totally doable in less time.
Seems work expands to fill the time you allot it. And yes, less is more.
I totally understand how the time grows. It’s hard to cut back!
I’m so sorry you can’t make it. I won’t be there either and I’m super sad about it. I LOVE Hot Springs. But maybe we’ll both be there next year!! 🙂
I left with so many ideas on things I could give up, and never once did social media cross my mind…but when I think about it? It would be a HUGE relief! I say all the time that if my job didn’t require it I’d quit Facebook in a heartbeat, and the same goes for Twitter too. Not sure what’s holding me back now 😉
I’ve been surprised by how much relief + space it has provided actually. And I still wonder how long I can keep it up! But definitely we all have things we could give up to make space for what we want to say “YES” to. I think it’s different for each of us, but universally tend to all by busy bees. 🙂
The biggest thing I took away was the exact same quote. Saying “no” frees me up to say “yes”. I’ve been working on that idea during 2015, and it has helped me tremendously in my writing. So far, I’m saying no to Periscope because I can’t nor do I want to do one more social media thing.
It was such a great quote! And it helps me to ask myself regularly. Well done you for protecting your writing time + space!
I have gone through brief spurts of staying off line or off email for a couple of days at a time. It feels so good. I am more successful at my job, however, if I’m on social media doing my thing. I’ve picked a couple of others places where I’m saying no instead. Alli gave me a lot of good food for thought, and I’ve used that wisdom to cut out quite a bit. In fact, most of the last year has been a very, very quiet one for me. After all that quiet, I’m feeling very overwhelmed by a busy few weeks, and I am craving some of that quiet time. But now I have more insight and more self awareness, and I can say no more easily.
Yes! Saying “no” is definitely a learned skill and becomes easier with time. I surprise myself now by how willing I am to say “no” to something that doesn’t resonate strongly with my heart.
This was the biggest take-away for me as well. I think that the “no to say yes” and relief ideas go hand-in-hand. I’ve spent the last year re-evaluating how I spend my time and getting rid of things in my life that I do out of obligation and guilt. I do still say that social media is not one of those things to get rid of but it has made me re-evaluate my platforms and my focus for life and business.
Absolutely it is different for all of us what we need to say “no” and “yes” to! It’s just wonderful to feel that freedom to do so, right? I totally agree that guilt is a bad motivator!! 🙂 Good for you!! 🙂
I hear you! Social media (the part where I feel I have to promote myself) is probably my least part of blogging. I enjoy interacting with other bloggers, but the promotion stuff? Not so much.
My biggest takeaway from last year was on branding. I went to both of Jackie Wolven’s sessions, and they were eye openers; I learned so much.
Your post makes me think of the book I just finished (and which I’m trying to review tonight, if I’ll just quick reading blogs!) — an excellent book called “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.” Michael Hyatt had the author, Greg McKeown on his podcast a few weeks ago, and I’ve listened to it at least four times. I highly recommend it to anyone who thinks she has too much on her plate (all of us?).
Thanks for the reminder, Alison.
YES! The self-promoting is just so hard for me.
I love that everyone has different takeaways and that all the different parts of the conference resonated differently for different folks. Community is just so lovely. 🙂 I’m going to miss it terribly this year!!
I’m definitely going to check out that podcast. Sounds amazing! Thanks so much! 🙂
Great Post Girl! I say all the time- I’d quit FB if I could. Social Media steals more time than it should. I have a successful blogger friend who doesn’t have 1 social media account. It’s Crazy! Content really is king. Be real. Be encouraging. Be you!
Thanks for the honesty! Love that we are all in this boat together. See you soon!
That is crazy, Amanda! They say (“they” being all the marketing gurus I follow – on social media!) that your email list is your bread and butter. I imagine your friend has a nice-size email list…
I totally understand! FB just does not give me joy. 🙂
I think you’re totally right that blogging can be done without social media. It’s just a different animal. We’ll see how it goes!! 🙂
I’m missing the conference this year (sniff, sniff) as my hubs is in Germany for the entire month of August. So take good notes for me! I’ll be reading all the follow up posts on this site for sures! 😉
YES! This is so powerful. I love the idea of thinking through giving up something that would be a relief. I can’t wait for the conference this year, I’m so excited to finally be able to attend:)