By Heidi Finley

This past year has been a hard one for a lot of people, filled with political turmoil and personal tragedies that seemed to just keep piling on top of one another. The emotional weight has been heavy, and bright spots have seemed fewer and further between than usual.

Fortunately, the beginning of a new year is upon us, providing a point to renew and refresh our mindsets. I don’t typically make New Year’s resolutions, but I’m making a point to intentionally focus on finding more occasions for happiness and forging a better 2017.

I’m a planner. And a list maker. So naturally, the keys to success for me involve charting a course, step by step.

Step 1: Identifying happiness triggers

We can’t all run to the beach or retreat into a cabin in the woods every time we need a happiness bump. Although plotting out that kind of respite is definitely welcome when you can swing it. Once you consciously recognize a few things that have the potential to spread moments of happy through your days, it sure helps.

Here’s a few of mine: Catching up with friends through meeting up, calling or even via email — I’ll take what I can get these days. Taking a nap. Reading a good book. Savoring a tasty margarita and tearing into a delicious plate of food. Kicking back to enjoy a few hours with no errands to run or events to attend. Filling the house with music and letting the kids dance it out. Watching a rerun of the Golden Girls.

Step 2: Planning for obstacles.

We all know to expect the unexpected. Terrible things will happen. Illness. Cash crunches. General suckiness. When something comes up, find ways to regroup instead of letting the situation keep you down for too long. Take time to grieve when you need it. But also let go of extra guilt about whatever you’re not doing that you feel you should be. After awhile find ways to move forward in small steps. And let people who care know when you’re feeling crappy. There are people who love you and want to help.

Also, manage your external stressors as best as you can. We all know people who bear down on us with negativity, heavy demands or a love for arguing. Just take a step back. Say, “No thanks, I’m busy,” once in awhile. Let things go! Preserve your sanity by knowing your limits. Plan downtime for yourself when needed and schedule it in, just like you would any other event.

Step 3. Taking action to move forward.

Make a realistic list of things you want to do over the course of the year and put some dates down on the calendar, even if you know you may have to bump them around a bit. Give yourself something to look forward to!

In the meantime, do what’s reasonable. Even if you’re short on time, reach out to a good friend via text. No money for a grand vacation you’ve been dying for? Have an international night at home. Be adventurous and try something new! Take joy in the smaller pleasures of life. Go out of your way to be kind to others and let them know you’re thinking of them, and hopefully some of that will bounce back to you.

Remember, you’re ultimately responsible for your own emotions. No one else has the power to create your happiness, except for you. So go for it!

Heidi is a former Arkansas Democrat-Gazette news editor who recently relocated to the South Carolina side of suburban Charlotte, N.C., and now writes at fortmillfamily.com. She’s a mom to three girls who loves hot chocolate breaks, curling up with a good book and spends way too much time on social media.