Category: Mommy/Parenting

New Year, New Phase of Life: The Return to Work {New Year, New You}

New Year, New Phase of Life: The Return to Work {New Year, New You}
Written by Stephanie McCratic of Evolved Mommy

At the beginning of 2011 I started to feel like I needed to be doing something professionally. My year-and-a-half old daughter had a calendar packed with play dates; I had started a new mommy group with scheduled speakers, childcare, crafts and bonding activities; but I needed something more.

Freelance writing seemed like a natural transition. My blog had been gaining readership steadily over the past couple years, and I had done some freelance magazine writing and public relations work years ago.

A friend had also talked me into starting a jewelry home show business. The money was good and it forced me to get out of the house and socialize with people whom I’d never met. It’s not anything that I’m terribly proud of, but it taught me some good lessons.

After a whirlwind and dizzying year I now find myself gainfully employed as a social media strategist for a local marketing firm. And, no kidding, some of the biggest national clients I’ve landed have come to me directly because of my home show business.

The beauty of the situation is that my schedule is a flexible 30 hours per week. I started at 20 hours per week, which was a nice way to transition back to an office /day job setting. Now at the current 30 hour schedule I still get one weekday off with my toddler-turning-preschooler. If I were working 40 hours per week I would only see her for the 2-3 hours between when she gets home and when she goes to bed each night.

This arrangement is fantastic for our family, and it isn’t an option with every job. Although, I think it should be more common than it is.

How is my day different today than it was last year at this time:

Then                                                Now

stretchy clothes                            Heels
10 am play dates                           7 am professional development groups
Nap strikes                                       anxious clients and lost emails
Quality time with baby               Stimulating adult conversation

 

Returning to work isn’t for everyone at this stage, in just the same way that staying home isn’t for everyone.

Life has changed drastically in the last two month:

–          My body weight has increase, I’m assuming from stress eating or maybe business lunches or possibly even just winter.
–          My schedule is still a little wonky.
–          My husband and I haven’t yet figured out who takes our daughter to childcare and picks her up on what days.
–          The people I see regularly are changing (and this is the hardest part). I rarely see my mommy friends these days.

Hopefully, the dust will settle soon and the mental, emotional and financial rewards will be more obviously apparent.

No matter what, though, I still want a nap at 2:00 p.m.

 

Stephanie McCratic is the author of EvolvedMommy.com, where she writes about technology, trends and (mostly) non-sense for the modern mom. She has recently returned to work after two years as a stay-at-home mom. Her official title is Community Shepherd, but that’s just fancy, marketing speak for social media strategist at The Belford Group in Fayetteville, Arkansas, where she tweets and blogs professionally.

Babies in Academia

People outside of the ivory towers of academia probably have the idea that college and university faculty are a rather liberal, free-wheeling group. That’s actually sort of true, but it took having a baby while working on my PhD for me to learn some of the limitations of academia in dealing with pregnant women and babies.

A friend of mine recently turned me on to Christina Katz, an author who helps other writers develop their writing and career skills. I was lucky enough to win a book in her giveaway that I really, really wanted. Even though I have been out of higher education for nearly three years, I still try to keep up with issues regarding women in the academy.

Oh, how I wish I would have had Mama, PhD: Women Write about Motherhood and Academic Life (edited by Elrena Evans and Caroline Grant) when I was pregnant over fifteen years ago. The stories the writers tell are so parallel to my own that even though it’s years later, I feel supported and a little less alone in my experience.

When I was 29 years old, I was ready to have a baby. The clock was BANGING on my uterus! My husband and I had been married for nine years, and he had a steady job. It was time to start a family. I was teaching two English classes per semester at the University of Arkansas as a graduate assistant, tutoring in the Writing Center, and finishing my coursework for my PhD in English. It was time to start studying for my comprehensive exams, and I truly felt that it was a good time to have a baby.

My close grad student friends were very supportive and happy for me. When I started to show and other graduate students, my own students, and faculty got wind of it, the reaction was quite different.

One of the more liberal male faculty members with a record of civil rights activism actually asked me if I would be dropping out of graduate school. He seemed bewildered when I said I didn’t see the need to. Another male grad student just assumed that I would be dropping out after I had the baby. He asked when I was due, and then said something like, “It’s too bad you won’t be finishing the program.” At least the professor had the manners to ask if I was dropping out instead of assuming it. A third male faculty member, while riding in the elevator with me, joked that he was nervous about riding with me because I might go into labor between floors 3 and 7. He was kidding and meant well, but it was obvious he was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say to me on the elevator. When I wasn’t pregnant, he would have had no problem making conversation with me.

Most of the female students and faculty had much more supportive responses. Even so, I seemed to be breaking ground of some sort simply by being pregnant even though women have been doing it for thousands of years. And for centuries women had also been able to learn and work and still be mothers. Imagine that. I remember going to one of my professors at the end of the semester, a woman who had four children of her own, and asked for a couple of extra days to finish a paper. I was exhausted at eight months pregnant and finishing the semester, and she agreed to give me those days. As a result, I ended up writing a paper that was published in a literary journal the next year. A tiny bit of empathy for my “condition” led to academic accomplishment.

To this day, I am amazed at the looks I got and the way my pregnancy was received in an English Department, of all places. We were reading about mothers, doing gender studies, and writing about the role of women in past and current societies, and yet very few men could manage the pregnant belly. It seemed to represent a woman’s sexuality and be evidence that someone somewhere had sex. The pregnant woman is also very powerful. While in that state, we are profound reminders to men we can give life, that they come from us. It rocks their world a little bit.

I hope I brought a little awareness to the people around me that women can be smart, hard-working, and mothers. After giving birth I sometimes had my son with me on campus, and that was much better received, probably because he was so darn cute and much less threatening than a pregnant belly. Editors Elrena Evans and Caroline Grant have tapped into a common experience many women have had in academia but haven’t had a space for exploring it. I really appreciate that they are offering just such a space for women in academia.

I am Angie Albright (www.angiealbright.wordpress.com) and hold a number of titles and interests. I am the mother of a very funny, very bright 15-year-old son, a single parent who gets LOTS of help from my son’s dad, other family, and good friends. I have been the Executive Director of the Northwest Arkansas Women’s Shelter for almost three years. I spent many years teaching college English before that, but have done stints as a bartender, waitress, retail manager, writing tutor, historian, editor, grant writer, and house cleaner (no evidence of which appears in my own home these days). I am active in my community in several civic organizations, and I’ve been a member of Good Shepherd Lutheran Church for many years.

Duck Duck Goose – Get in the Pond EARLY!

Attention Mommy Bloggers, Moms who blog, and bloggers who are moms, or grandmas, or anyone else that likes to buy stuff for kids!!!

Duck Duck Goose Children’s Consignment sale is offering a media pass to any Arkansas Women Bloggers who would like to come and check out their Little Rock Sale.  The media reception is Wednesday, March 9 at 11am.  This is a great opportunity to check out the sale, get some great deals, and blog about it.  Here’s what you need to do:

  1. Go HERE to print out your media pass
  2. Write your name and blog address on the back of the pass
  3. Take it to the Duck Duck Goose sale and show it to the security guard
  4. Give your pass to Lynn Beardsley, DDG’s media contact. Let her know you are an Arkansas Women Blogger. She can give you a tour and answer your questions.
  5. Write a post on your blog about your experience at Duck Duck Goose.

You can use your pass throughout the day on Wednesday, but keep in mind that consignors and volunteers will be shopping starting at 12:00pm, so it will get very crowded!  If you do arrive late, you still don’t have to wait in line!  Just go straight to the security guard at the entrance and show him your pass!

For more information on the sale, go to http://duckduckgoosesale.com.

Need a MOMcation?

We have two boys. I homeschool them. We do not have any family close. They are with me 24-7. I adore them and love our life, but seriously, a sister needs a break.

Last year, I ran away from home for a MOMcation. MOMcation is the brainchild of my good friend Fawn over at Instead of the Dishes. It is a vacation for Mom, away from the kids, with the goal of relaxing, renewing, and repairingmom so she can be an even greater Mom when she returns home.

After frantically cleaning my house, making sure all the laundry was done and food was prepped in the fridge for the Buckaroos (it was not in this shape when I returned), I set out under a weather advisory to drive 2 ½ hours to Heifer Ranch. I like to think I am adventurous but storm chasing is not my thing. Well, and I don’t think I would like to bungee jump, skydive, or climb Everest. O.k. maybe I am not the adventurous type.
Oh wait, I am a mom to two little boys, yea, that is an adventure all its own. Sorry, I get a little sidetracked, be thankful you are not in my head all the time, whiplash honey. ANYWAY…I love a big storm as long as I am wrapped in a comfy blanket on my couch, driving in it is a different story. My knuckles were white most of the time in anticipation of this huge storm that was supposed to hit. But, I was fortunate to not run into any bad weather until Murphy showed up. As I drove up and was getting my bag out to go inside the lodge, oh mercy, the sky opened up. I freaked for a minute because I had dressed cute and fixed my hair because all you women know that we are each others biggest critics. So, I opened the door looking like a drowned rat but the warmth and laughter radiated from the room.
Of the 18 women attending, I only knew Fawn. Is that scary and intimidating? Heck yeah. But, by the end of the weekend, I had made some wonderful new friends. We had cooking demonstrations, yoga class, a tour of Heifer Ranch, book discussion, jewelry making, a bonfire, and so many more wonderful activities. Let’s not even talk about the karaoke, some things that happen at MOMcation need to stay at MOMcation, got it girls?! My favorite part was just sitting on the couch talking to the other women, hearing their stories, learning from them, commiserating with them, and enjoying getting to know them.

This year’s MOMcation will be held April 29-May 1 at Heifer Ranch near Perryville, Arkansas. Join us in  connecting with and learning from other Moms as well as enjoying some quiet time alone in self-reflection. For more information on this professional development opportunity for your most important job – being a Mom, visit momcation.org.

I hope to see you there,
The Park Wife

Has Your Baby Got the Oh Factor?

The Oh Baby family is growing and we want YOU to join us! Every week this winter we’ll be running contests to get to know you – customers, readers, fellow bloggers! Tune in each Thursday for inspiration, motivation, networking, links and… prizes! We hope you’ll get your friends in on the action, too. Because everyone loves to brag on a baby!

Let’s get started with an easy one, shall we?

Every baby is cute – we’ve got the Oh Babies to prove it! We’d love to see yours and hear what makes your little bundle so incredible! Did we mention prizes? This fun package is perfect for baby and includes all of the following:

  • Super cool and trendy Oh Baby onesie
  • Ultra fashionable PVC/BPA-free toddler bib
  • Way hip Oh Baby bumper sticker
  • PVC/BPA-free sippy cup
  • Chic and practical Oh Baby tote to carry it all around
  • And… the chance to be a featured Oh Baby!

For a chance to win this week’s amazing prize pack, including the opportunity for your baby to appear as a featured Oh Baby, post a picture on your blog of your baby eating (and being cute and stuff) along with a bio or story about your baby. Please include a link to Oh Baby Foods (http://ohbabyfoods.com/index.html) and the Oh Baby Foods Blog (http://ohbabyfoods.blogspot.com/) somewhere in the post. Thanks! Then go to the Oh Baby Foods Blog and leave a comment with the link to your post.

We’ll round up all the posts on Thursday, January 13th and choose the winner!

Based in Northwest Arkansas, Oh Baby Foods offers wholesome purees made from ingredients grown under the southern sun.  Most of our ingredients are raised by regional farming families and harvested at their peak of flavor.  Hand made in small batches, Oh Baby Foods® is a clear choice for our satisfied clientele.  You’ll find nothing unnatural here, only vegetables, fruits, grains, and herbs.  Pure foods.  Pure babies. Fran Free Gunsaulis is a new Mother and Founder of Oh Baby Foods.

Project Eli Documentary Launch

You are invited to come out and support one of your fellow
Arkansas Women Bloggers

Project Eli Documentary Launch
Saturday, August 7, 2010
4:00 p.m.
Little Rock, Arkansas
RSVP: jodie@teameli.com or casey@teameli.com

Dinner will be served afterwards.
Directions will be sent to you at time of RSVP.

About Project Eli
Project Eli is a video documentary that will be distributed to ob/gyns, pregnancy crisis centers, hospitals, and other organizations throughout the state of Arkansas to help give families, who are expecting a child with
Spina Bifida, hope, encouragement and advice from other families who have been in their shoes.
For the past three years, Julie Mayberry, the producer of the video and the mother of a child with Spina Bifida, has been interviewing families of children with Spina Bifida and capturing family moments.
There are a lot of questions that come with the pre-natal diagnosis. This video is not meant to be a substitute to medical information, but is a compliment to the information the family will receive from their team of medical professionals.
This video presentation is made possible through the generosity of those who loved Eli McGinley. He only lived five days but made a huge impact on the world around him. This event will celebrate his birth and honor
the legacy he left behind.
Join us on Facebook:
For more information, visit mcginleybabyjourney.blogspot.com.

In Regards to "Baby #2"

My son Hayden is 3-years-old. Before my husband, Randy, and I had children we envisioned ourselves having 2 kids, two years a part. Obviously that hasn’t happened, and it isn’t going to. And that is by choice. It isn’t that we have been trying and have been unsuccessful. Trust me. We have not been trying.

The truth is that after having Hayden and actually experiencing motherhood, I realized I couldn’t do it: have two little ones so close together in age. My disposition doesn’t seem to fit with that family composition, at least from my point of view.

I decided that I needed more time. I needed Hayden to be older… and so we have waited. I feel like I am almost ready, but not quite. I’m just not in a good place to have another baby. Maybe I will be there in a few months. Maybe I won’t, but hopefully I will.

My sweet husband is getting antsy though. He seems to be getting a bit uncomfortable with the obvious gap in age separation that will exist between Hayden and this theoretical “baby #2.”

And while I do see his point and agree that the gap is getting bigger (by the day), this isn’t something I can compromise on.

I am just not ready to have another baby right now.

Here is my “problem” though… I feel guilty for feeling this way. I feel guilty for not being ready to have another child.

And I admit that I too worry about the age gap that is inevitably going to exist between Hayden and his supposed sibling.
I worry that I’ll never feel ready. I worry that I won’t be able to handle being a mother to two children. I worry that we won’t have enough space. I worry that we won’t have enough money. I just worry.

But at the end of the day, I know that it will work out as it is intended. And for poor Randy’s sake, hopefully things will come to fruition soon.

I’m a 28-year-old stay-at-home mom to my son, Hayden (D.O.B.: 1.23.07). I’ve been married for 7 years to my lovely husband, Randy… who is now a wonderful father. We live with our other baby, our 4-year-old shih-tzu, Alfie. I am a total t.v. addict, I am a major introvert (although since having Hayden I have become more outgoing), and I love walking on my treadmill… I am rather odd, but that’s okay… I mean, aren’t we all?
Melissa Melner’s blog is My Life and How It’s Going

Coke in My Baby’s Sippy Cup

You have always heard pick your battles. But when it comes to flying, anything goes. When I step foot on an airplane, my mission is to keep my 4 little ones happy. If they are happy, I am happy. And if they are happy, everyone else on that plane will be happy too. Ever been on a plane when there is a little one not happy?Before we had kids, I vividly remember my husband putting his fingers in his ears because a child was screaming behind his seat. And on our last flight, we saw a child throw a huge fit and he finally calmed when we found a toy car out of my son’s bag and handed to the boy. This could be another post. What could stop a meltdown? candy, bribes, new toys, stickers, juice. Whatever it is, have it with you and have lots of it with you. That is why my airplane diaper bag/back pack weighs 20 pounds!Yes, I know kids will throw fits. Mine do all of the time but I work my rear off to keep them quiet on the plane. If your kid is having a melt down, don’t just sit there: stand on your head and get that kid to be quiet so he doesn’t freak my kids out and make them start crying.So yes, my toddler drinks coke out of his sippy cup on airplanes. Don’t stare at me and think I am a bad mom. It is not my kid screaming, my kid is happy. He may have cavities but he is quiet and happy and I know that makes you happy too!

Tara is a busy Mom who has 4 kids who are four years old and under.  Her and her husband love to travel and are determined to take their kids to all 50 states and they are well on their way to meeting that goal!  When Tara isn’t on a trip, she is making lists, running on the treadmill, being a part time speech pathologist, planning birthday parties and blogging about her kids lives at dennie.org 

MOMcation 2010: A Retreat for Every MOM

MOMcation is a vacation for Moms.

What: A weekend retreat just for moms and moms-to-be

When: April 23-25, 2010

Where: Heifer Ranch, near Perryville Arkansas

Why: Every mom deserves a little “me” time to relax, repair, and renew!

Who: MOMcation is not affiliated with any business or organization: it is being organized by a group of volunteer moms.

MOMcation 2010 provides a weekend get-away featuring optional workshops and activities that allow you to customize your MOMcation. If you want to attend every event and meet as many moms as possible, that’s great. If you would rather spend most of your time curled up with a great book or your laptop, we’re equally respectful of that. MOMcation is open to any mom or mom-to-be who would like to attend.

Check-in starts at 4pm on Friday, April 23rd. We’ll kick the weekend off with dinner and a welcome party. Saturday features several workshops and activities, including a trail run, cooking demonstrations, a high-tech treasure hunt, a discussion of the book Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy, (with more workshops still in the works!) all capped off with an evening camp fire and S’mores. Sunday we’ll share breakfast and some free time before checking out at 11am. There is also a bonus lunch and hike scheduled at Petit Jean State Park for Sunday afternoon.

The registration fee of $170 includes lodging, all activities and workshops, all meals except the Sunday lunch at Petit Jean, a t-shirt, plus a fun swag bag and exciting prize give-aways. There are scholarships available for those with financial need, thanks to our presenting sponsor, Moms Like Me and Today’s THV.

For more information, contact: Fawn Rechkemmer – fawn@momcation.org or visit http://momcation.org

Registration deadline is April 2nd: http://momcation.org/registration/

Scholarship application deadline is March 21st: http://momcation.org/scholarship/