My friendship post was all set.  Listing how others have changed my life for the better was easy — and lovely.  

Then it happened.  Bennie Campbell died.  She died.  

 

As a friend and neighbor she was really just a beautiful soul.  No one loved to do for others like Bennie. She would call me and countless others and ask, “Is there anything I can do to help you today?”

How many friends say that to you on a daily basis? I’ll bet not many. How many do you ask if you can help daily?

Count each time someone has said something at just the right time, when needed most.               

Just a few of my most abundant and amazing friendship gifts, WORDS.Words better than any gift one can receive.These are all very personal. I remember them, I remember the time and I remember where I was.

These words have assisted me in changing the trajectory of my life.

Doug Smith, Nashville, Tennessee: “Is there anything I can do for you that will make your life easier?”

Bill Gaither, Indianapolis and Nashville, when my Mother was going into heart surgery: “Do you need anything, anything at all?”

Virginia Newton, Copenhagen, upon my beating myself up one day: “You are perfect.”  (Actually she’s the pretty perfect one!)

Carolyn Staley, Little Rock: “Laws don’t change people, hearts do.”

Debra Brawner, Nashville: “I sure miss you more than ever now.”

My Mother in Heaven, during the last month of her life: “I want to thank you for taking such good care of me.”

Ben Broyles, Conway: “Are you okay?” weeks after the death of my Mother, when he appeared at my front door to check on me.

Ruth Brooks Langford, Conway:  “Are you okay?  I love you.”

Jeremy Becker-Welts, Washington, DC: “Next time  you need ANYTHING and you want to get hold of me quickly send me a text to XXX.  I consider myself lucky to be able to help you.

Phyllis Hoffman DePiano, Birmingham, Alabama: “I love you. Know you are missing your Mom, you were a faithful daughter. You are precious.”

Scott Stewart, Denver: “Anything is possible.”

Cody Sublett, Conway: “Are you okay?”

Mikie McLendon, Magnolia, upon my arguing, crying for her NOT to do something: “How can I not help you with this?”  

 

Of course she DID what she does. Thankfully!

And these people have shown loyalty is in their DNA at times when I needed it most: 

David Phelps, Darren Irby, Stacey Scheirer, Ron Greene, Deborah Evans Price, Nancy May, Gary Price, Scott Stewart, Paris Broyles, Marjie McGraw, Angela Relder, Linda Thompson, Tracy Collins, Madeline Bell, Gary Robinson, Chris Reynolds, Kelly Van Patter, Marcia Minor, and on and on. I am a lucky girl.  

Which leads me back to the night Bennie Campbell died.  We could not find phone numbers for her daughters.

Here’s what happened: Paris Broyles called me; I called Patti Stobaugh; Patti tracked down a family member in Russellville who then reached her daughters.  

Called Steve Norris, Minister at Robinson and Center where Bennie attended.

 

Bennie did not die alone — Patti and David Stobaugh; Paris and Ben Broyles; Steve Norris; Elizabeth and Mark Copeland with their daughter Kinsey; and me.  

We waited for her daughters, Holly and Heather, surrounding them with love as Bennie had done for all of us so many times.  

Bennie Campbell enjoyed an abundance of friends, she was loved by many.  How lucky we were to have her friendship.

Will others say the same about us?  

One day at a time, one friendship at a time.  As Charlie Daniels says, “Let’s make the day count.”  

Yes, Charlie, let’s.

Brenda McClain is Gallery Director for Art on the Green, the art vortex for Central Arkansas. She covers the lives of bloggers in her column for 501 Life magazine. Her blog, brendamcclain.com tells about her life and experiences in the Entertainment Business as the former CEO for MPR, a Nashville, Tn. based Public Relations agency. 

You will usually find her reading the day’s headlines, drinking an espresso in Art on the Green.

 

 

 

 by Tiffany Hathorn

We can’t control everything that happens to us in life. However, we can control the way that we perceive things and the way that we respond to them. 

That is my mantra. With that in mind, I always try to be positive about things. Even in the midst of challenges and difficult situations. However, even with a focus on remaining positive, I have realized that I am prone to what has come to be known as a lack mentality. 

For those of you who are not familiar with this concept, a lack mentality is essentially when we focus on those negatives in our life. By negative, I mean both the traditional sense of the word and feeling as though we have less than what we need of something (think of having a negative account balance). 

When we are faced with challenges or decisions (even good decisions such as whether or not to take advantage of an opportunity to do something amazing), this lack mentality can rear its ugly head. 

The thing is that the head can look different every time. Sometimes it is really subtle. It can even mask itself as a fact of life, making it that much more difficult to ignore or refute it. 

Need examples? How many times have you said or thought one of the following statements:

This is an amazing opportunity, but I don’t have enough money.

It would be nice to do this, but I really don’t have the time. 

I don’t feel confident enough in my skills to do that. 

I don’t think I have the level of support that I would need to make that happen. 

That sounds amazing, but people like me don’t really have the resources for that. 

I was not afforded the same opportunities growing up as other people. 

I’m not young enough to be able to pull that off. Maybe I could have 20 years ago. 

 

If you are like most people, you could probably relate to at least one of those sentiments at some point in your life. Perhaps you are harboring one of those thoughts right now as you face a decision or challenge. 

I know from experience how difficult it can be to even recognize that you have a lack mentality, let alone banish it. However, by making the mindset shift from one of lack to one of abundance, you can open yourself up to so much more opportunity, peace, and happiness. It won’t solve all of your problems (I don’t think there is anything that can), however, I am a firm believer that having a positive, abundance-oriented mindset can lead to changes in the way you perceive and respond to things. In turn, the way that you behave can have a tremendous impact on the direction that your life takes. 

I can’t (and won’t) pretend that I am an expert on developing an abundance mentality, since it is something that is a work in progress for me (like much of life, right?). However, I did want to share some exercises that I have been implementing that have been helpful for me. 

 

This might seem really ‘hokey’ and simplistic, but I do think that there is some wisdom in looking at things from a positive point of view. Embracing the silver lining, if you will. For example, instead of focusing on the fact that you don’t have a great deal of money or that you don’t have enough money to do something you need or want to do, focus on the fact that you have your basic needs met or that you have the skills to bring in more income. Realize that, in most situations, things could always be worse than they actually are. By realizing that the worst-case scenario has not happened, it can help you to be able to focus more on the positives in your life. 

 

I like to think of myself as a positive realist. My first step is always to look at things from a positive and hopeful vantage point. However, I also believe in taking action. I see no point in worrying about things that you cannot change. Some things are simply outside of your control. Instead, you should spend your time focusing on those things that you can change. For example, if you feel like you don’t have enough time to do all of the things that you need to do, you could take time to assess exactly how you are spending your time. Once you know how you are spending your time, you can determine if there are some tasks or activities that you can reduce or eliminate to free up time for you to do the things you need to do. While you cannot create more time in the day, you CAN come up with ways to use the time you do have more efficiently. 

If you believe that energy (both positive and negative) actually impacts our lives in a tangible way, you could try adopting positive mantras and affirmations that you repeat to yourself throughout the day or when you feel yourself falling into a lack mentality. For example, if you have concerns about not having the skills you need to succeed at something, you can repeat to yourself something like “I am an intelligent, hard-working person who is highly capable of accomplishing anything that I set my mind to”. (Note: If you truly do need to brush up on your skills, refer to exercise #2). Many people believe that by putting positive thoughts/energy out into the universe, you attract positivity. However, even if you don’t believe that, I can’t think of a down side to uplifting and encouraging yourself. Self-love is a good thing!

Again, I am no expert on developing an abundance mentality, but I have found that through a combination of appreciating what I have, taking action, and thinking positively, I am better able to overcome the lack mentality when it makes an unwelcome appearance. If all else fails, you can always reach out to a friend or family member that can serve as a source of support, encouragement, and affirmation. 

A professional word wrangler, mom to a superhero, and proud geek (circa 1985), Tiffany Hathorn can be found blogging at Single Mommy Warrior, traveling multiple universes (her favorite being the world of Harry Potter), binge-watching Netflix, or plotting world domination.