by Beth Stephens of The Little Magpie
Last time, we talked a little about taking a different lens for Earth Month by living kindly, living happily and living lightly. Did any of you take us up on that challenge?
That conversation really centered around looking internally, and on making the world a better place. Today, I wanted to force us to be a little more outwardly facing, which also seems natural as the weather becomes more consistently nice and we all turn our faces toward the sun and the rest of the world like starved little flowers craving the light after a long winter.
As I thought about the concept of community and of neighborhoods, I thought a little bit about my own neighborhood – the things I love, and the things I would change with a magic wand. I thought about how much the landscape has changed in the nearly nine years since we moved into our crazy old house (“A Good House“) in the historic downtown part of Rogers.
It’s a neighborhood you have to choose, and it isn’t the one most realtors lead newcomers to when a job brings them to northwest Arkansas from Cincinnati or Minneapolis. Like all good things, it takes some seeking out to land here.
When we first moved in, our toddler Sophie seemed like the only kid for miles. Then one day when she was about five, a little boy coasted down the alley on a scooter. He seemed to appear out of thin air. She stared out the window, nose pressed to the glass, at him with a look on her face that read “I don’t know who that is, but I want to play with him.”
We certainly change as adults. We are suddenly set in our ways, cranky, unwilling to go to the work of cultivating a new friend or to take the risk of extending an invitation to others to enter our world… they might decline or find dust on our furniture.
My husband and I often rush in after work, gather our kids around us, make the family comment that “we are done with the world for today” and then pull the blinds to focus internally. It is equally critical, however, that we focus externally. The lemonade stands on the corner and the communal swing in our front yard and the little memorial sign the kids made mourning a giant neighborhood tree that was cut down following a storm… these are all the things that build community.
This week alone, one neighbor continued our ongoing barter system: she cares for my kids as though they are her own grandchildren at no charge, and I occasionally drop off a hot meal or give her my discarded junk (she calls it “merchandise”) for her flea market booth. Another neighbor and I meet for sunrise yoga and a cup of coffee and conversation. Yet another neighbor brought us a dozen fresh eggs from her chickens as an offering when she came to borrow a ladder.
I realized that even though we can be introverted and deeply selfish about creating private time for our little family, we are also building something: it’s called community. It made me flash back to an image I saw on a greeting card as a college student that spoke deeply to me. Trust me, it took some digging on the interwebs, but I found it:
With a little digging, I learned that it is an original 1998 watercolor by artist Karen Kerney (available as a lovely poster for $15 from Syracuse Cultural Workers). While it is fifteen years old, the message rings as true today as it did at its debut, and I think Ms. Kerney nailed it. In essence, we all need to remember to regularly do a little community and neighborhood building.
My family’s next opportunity will be on May Day, when we like to get a little old fashioned and sneak around with some neighborly surprises. (If any neighbors read this… just act surprised.)
There are some seriously fun and intriguing infographics about neighborhoods from the good (bwaha) folks at Good, but here’s one quick teaser: which five states do you think are the most “neighborly?” Hint: Arkansas didn’t make the cut.
We’re all pretty good at being neighborly online and building our “social networks,” but we don’t always know our own neighbors. There is now even a social network FOR neighborhoods, called NextDoor. It’s kind of neat. Here is an interesting article on its premise that is worth a read and a ponder.
Would you believe (and it is pure coincidence that I stumbled on this while writing this post) that THIS Saturday 4/27 there are intriguing plans for a Good Neighborday? Don’t stress that you should plan some perfect party, just jump in by getting together informally or dropping a little hello note for your neighbors.
Mr. Rogers will be so proud.
Okay, hoping this posts.
I loved this. Thanks for it.
We have always lived in the country, far from the neighbors. But once, we did move into a great neighborhood. No one came over and said “hi”. No one. No one helped with directions, intros, or anything. A couple of weeks later a lady from 2 blocks away came and apologized that no one had come. She brought with her a pie made of Cool Whip and fruit cocktail stirred in it and a storebought graham cracker crust.
I had neighbors, but they were the kind who were gone all day and shuttered in by night. I was the loneliest I had ever been in my life, living in a neighborhood, a nice neighborhood with culdesacs and fancy street names. I was loneliest there because not only did I not really have neighbors, but also I did not have chickens, a garden, quiet, privacy, woods, fields, and/or fresh air. I’d lost everything.
I now live back in the country. My nearest neighbor lives 30 acres away. He’s not a very reputable man, but a wonderful neighbor, helping us out whenever we need, and quite polite about not hunting during times we are out in the woods. It is so quiet here, the sound of a car startles us if we hear one. The chickens are robust and they like me and they’re always home.
Anyway, your article was right ON. Thanks, again!
this is so great, Beth! how true it is that we have all of this community online and don’t even know all of our neighbors. such a good reminder to get out and cultivate community, real-life connections, right here where we are. thanks for sharing this!! 🙂