Tag: Jamies Thots

Finding Love Online {Love Story}

Written by Jamie Smith of Jamie’s Thots.

I have to admit, I’m almost embarrassed sometimes to tell people that I met my husband on MySpace. Considering the site’s reputation and the
general perception that people seem to have of relationships that start online, part of me wants to say “wemetonMyspacebutitistotallylegitimate.”

Yes, all fast and together like that.

The truth is, meeting online is not so uncommon any more. It’s not just the people looking for a green card or people who don’t feel comfortable
interacting with the opposite sex unless they are behind a computer screen. As online interactions become more interwoven throughout our life
experience, it almost seems inevitable that people will meet their soul mate through some kind of social media or online experience.

But I digress.

Let’s start at the beginning.

In late 2006 and 2007, I was going through some of the most difficult times of my life. Heart wrenching, devastating and abusive.  It was at
this time, I decided to try the whole “God thing” from my childhood a try so I started attending church in Southwest Missouri, about 45 minutes from the gabillion churches that were down the street. It was there that I heard a New Year’s Day sermon that included the letter from a well-known pastor titled “Let it GO!”

I found the text of this letter and posted it to one of my blogs, the one on MySpace. At this point, my MySpace blogs were more for me rather than
other people. I liked it when people read them and commented, but they were more for my self expression and gauging of healing and growth than anything else.

That was why I was surprised to get a late-night (as in middle of the night) email from someone about this blog, which really contained no
original thought. It was a nice note, a guy from a nearby town simply saying that the letter had ideas that he too has had to learn in life and
that his mom really likes that pastor who was quoted and thanks for posting it.

Now at first, I didn’t respond. I had a series of incredibly negative experiences with men who had found me on MySpace. They were abusive,
confused and just really unhealthy. It was because of these experiences that I had decided to stop dating and focus on figuring out this whole
“relationship  with God thing.” It wasn’t a “man ban” per se, but in effect I guess that’s what it was!

But something kept me from deleting the message. A few days, maybe a week later, I read it again and decided, “you know, he’s not hitting on me.
He’s not asking anything of me. He’s commenting on a blog that is about God.” So, I sent him a message back that thanked him and made some other nice conversational comment.

He replied back. I don’t even remember what it was, but something about what he said caught my interest and I wanted to know more about the topic so we engaged in an email conversation that spanned a couple of days. It turned out, by the way, that the odd hour of his email wasn’t creepy at all. He worked third shift so for him, 3 a.m. was the middle of the day, not the night.

We started talking and as crazy as this sounds, we both realized after about two weeks that we would start dating and that it would be a serious
relationship. I was already thinking “this is the kind of guy I want to marry some day.” I was too practical to say “I’ve found the ONE.”…
especially considering we had never met in real life!

We planned our first date at a restaurant off I-540 in Springdale, which was halfway between my home in Bentonville and his in Fayetteville. Oh,
that’s another thing. When people discover we met online, they assume it was a long-distance relationship. We were both right here in Northwest
Arkansas.

We met for breakfast and finally decided it might be good if we left when the lunch crowd started coming in. In some ways, we took things slow
because we had both been burned. And we were both too practical to do too much stupid! But our relationship quickly grew and we were determined to base it on God, which I think is why we are successful.

But truly, since the first moment I’ve met him, John has been the greatest gift God could ever give me. He’s fairly quiet whereas I’m more social.
That, and the weird hours that we work means most people in my life haven’t met him. When they do, the resounding comment that I get is “you
can just tell how much he loves you and how special of a man he is.” That makes my eyes fill with grateful tears every time I hear it.

Our first date was March 30, 2007 and we were married in Springdale on Sept. 21, 2008. We just celebrated our three-year anniversary. It’s been a tough three years, but not in the sense that most newlyweds mean. We’ve been thrown a lot of curveballs through the form of job losses,
life-threatening illnesses, financial struggles, major depressions, family deaths…you name it. But instead of these events tearing us down or pitting us against each other, we’ve been able to use them to draw us closer to God and to each other.

I often wonder how we would have found each other if it hadn’t been for my willingness to write a blog and him being willing to reach out with his
own views on it. I just know I’m grateful we had the opportunity.

—
Jamie Smith

Celebrate Recovery {New Year, New You}

Celebrate Recovery {New Year, New You}
Written by Jamie Smith of Jamie’s Thots (Jamie’s blog will soon be moving to Jamiesthots.com so stay posted!)

I don’t know if I’m brave or just crazy, but for the “New Year, New You” series, I want to share about Celebrate Recovery.

It’s an interesting balance—wanting to protect my own anonymity yet wanting to shout from the rooftops about a program that, when I work it, actually makes a profound impact on my life. With that said, expect some vagueness from me. It’s not trying to be all “vague Facebook status update melodrama queen.” There’s simply just some stuff ya’ll don’t need to know. You do, however, need to know about how your life can be changed through Celebrate Recovery.

So what is Celebrate Recovery? CR is a faith-based recovery program for all of life’s “hurts, habits and hang-ups.” When most of us think of recovery programs, we think of drug addicts, alcoholics or some other obvious, possibly illegal habit. Consider this: what about the person who needs to recover from being a victim of childhood sexual abuse? Or who is struggling with self-debilitating anger towards a wayward spouse? Or someone who has a habit of being controlling and manipulative…even with the best intentions at heart?

Every hurt, habit or hang-up that consumes our lives and keeps us from functioning like a full healthy individual is something that needs recovery. Going into recovery isn’t about being weak; it’s about being strong enough to admit you can’t do it by yourself.

For me, it’s about dealing with the deeper issues that were at the root of a lot of different self-destructive habits. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last six years working to “take my life back” from lots of pain and inner turmoil that led to severe morbid obesity in the outward manifestation, and a whole lot of inner junk as the internal manifestation.

Celebrate Recovery operates from Eight Recovery Principles, all which are based on the Beatitudes. Incorporated into those Principles are the 12 Recovery Steps, which are very similar to the 12 steps that are found in most secular recovery programs.

CR is very group based with group meetings once a week where everyone is together for the first hour for a time of celebration and a lesson. The second hour is for small groups, which are based on the participant’s hurt, habit or hang-up. Small groups include Eating Issues, Divorce Recovery, Adult Child of an Alcoholic…just to name a few.

The second part, possibly the most important and most difficult, is the Step Study. This is a small group that meets together weekly and you go through the 12 steps together. This is where the real work … and the real healing happens. It’s where your heart will be torn raw, the damage will be exposed—and when you finally get to experience relief and recovery. The small groups and Step Studies are divided into groups of men and women, by the way.

Does Celebrate Recovery “fix” you? No. It doesn’t take anything away. It gives you a faith-based way of dealing with the pain and moving on in your life in a complete and healthy way. I’ve tried lots of methods for dealing with all the inner crap and this has been the only successful tool. I’ve heard addicts and other people in CR talk about the program and they say that it has been more effective in their lives than any other, secular recovery program.

So as we all start a new year and look at a “new us,” I think it’s important to look at what changes we want to make on the inside.

To me, it’s about more than making resolutions for better behavior. It’s about a life-altering, complete turnaround of our thought process, emotions and faith.

Are you ready to recover from a hurt, habit or hang-up?

*A note from the editor – Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered recovery program but is considered non-denominational and is offered at many different churches including 29 cities around Arkansas.  You can click here to find a program near you or you can visit the Celebrate Recovery website to learn more about the program.