Tag: mother

Relationships {Spring Cleaning}

Relationships {Spring Cleaning}
Written by Julie Kohl of Eggs and Herbs

Anyone who knows me could tell you that I am not a housekeeper. Well, at least not a good one! The last thing I ever want to do, especially in the spring, is clean. We live on a farm so the battle would be never ending anyway and there is a reason that there is not a single square inch of carpet anywhere in my house. To me, spring cleaning is about opening windows, letting in the light and the air, breathing new life into the things we love.

As humans we often seem so preoccupied with how things look on the outside. The “American Dream” is more about a look than an actual way of life. We want perfect hair, manicured nails and taylored clothes that fit just right. We want the trendiest car parked in front of the prettiest, largest house with the greenest lawn in the nicest neighboorhood. And when one of the neighboors pops in unexpectedly we want to usher them in to our perfect kitchen where a pitcher of perfectly chilled lemonade and freshly baked cookies awaits.

GET REAL! Who really lives like this outside of the “real” or “desperate” houswives?

Here are some examples of my REAL life!

A Southern Living worthy flower bed:

A Pinterest perfect entry way:

Why do we even have the tray????

A Good Housekeeping approved laundry organizer:

Yes, that is the middle of the living room floor.

Now that, my friends, is REAL. We can make our lives look perfect to the outside world but what about what happens when no one is watching?

Yesterday I overheard two grown men talking about their wives. Neither was saying very nice things. I was shocked and saddened that the men were saying these things but I also understood that part of the reason they were saying them was because thier wives hadn’t given them any reason to say anything nice.

Sometimes I think we are so worried about cleaning up all the messes we can see that we forget about taking care of the ones we can’t see. We get so caught up in the “job-like” duties as wife and/or mother that we forget to nurture and cherish the rewards of being wife and/or mother.

Whether you are married, dating or just haning out with your friends there are so many things you can do to {Spring Clean} your relationships. Taking a moment here and a moment there to STOP nagging and complaining and to thank our husbands, kids, parents, best friends or other significant people in our lives for the things they do that make us happy.

I have been married to my husband for almost 12 years. We have certainly had our ups and downs but I adore him and try to do things to build him up rather than break him down. It’s not always easy and sometimes hurtful words and actions come easier than the good ones but when has anything truly good ever been easy?

So this spring – instead of worrying about spring cleaning your house – perhaps you will consider someways to {Spring Clean} your relationships.

Here are a few links to help you get started:

8 Ways To Maintain A Good Relationship Using Effective Communication

Love, Actually – Creative Ideas for Romance on a Budget

50 Ways to Inspire Your Husband

You might want to consider making a “Smash Book” to collect all of your memories during the year.

You can find detailed instructions for making the Smash Book on my blog Eggs and Herbs.

You may even consider taking a day to forget about yard work, school work and even ‘gasp’ blogging to spend a day with your family and the ones you love. There are thousands of wonderful attractions here is Arkansas. The Arkansas Tourism Website has tons of ideas. Additionally ARWB’s Managing Editor Fawn, writes a weekly column on her blog Instead of the Dishes called ‘Free Fun for Families’ where she highlights lots of free things going on in Central Arkansas. You can check out her list of this weeks activities by clicking here.

So this spring, instead of cleaning windows and mopping floors I will be spending time with the love of my life letting him know how much I love and appreciate him.

I mean, look at this guy! Can you blame me?

Dear Mom {Love Story}

Dear Mom {Love Story}
Written by Sweety Darlin’.

Dear Mom,
I wanted to write you a letter to fill you in on all the things that have happened since January of 1996. First your granddaughter, Alia, has grown into a beautiful and intelligent young woman, but of course you knew she would be. I know the mother’s curse works because she is giving me fits about her grades. She just decided not to do homework the first 9 weeks of her freshman year, so we are dealing with that. You would love the punishment I gave her. I took away all her clothes, shoes and makeup, made her wear grey sweatpants and grey t-shirt for 9 weeks. The little snot is so beautiful she still had boys sniffing at her butt like dogs in a dog park.

You have another granddaughter, Browyn. She is 13 now, about to be 14. You would love her. She is my emotional and caring side, you know the one that cried everyday after school in the 5th grade. She is so affectionate and just wants everyone to get along and be happy. She went through this phase when she was in the first grade that she would ask people all the time, “when you die can I have (insert random object)” She wishes she had known you. I tell her all sorts of things about you, and I promise they are not all bad.

I tell the girls how you used to tell me if you kissed me on my elbow I would turn into a boy, and that to this day I can’t stand for people to get near my elbows. Alia blames you and I for the fact that she can’t stand people to touch her feet, because we both love baby feet.

I am sewing again, and trying to make a business of it, oh and I am calling it Sweety Darlin’. Dad thought it was a perfect name. I wish you were here to help me, you would have so much fun with how the Internet has created a unique venue for the random business person.

Remember when I was about 10 and you told me not to go into computers since they weren’t going anywhere and I needed to become an engineer. God I love telling that story to every A&M grad engineer I know, they die laughing. Hey I met Dr. Blacklock! He taught me too! It was so strange on the first day of his statics class he calls me up to the front and asks me if I was any relation to Darcia Norwood. I think my face went white when I said yes. I am thinking of getting my graduate degree and teaching college.

I promised I would get my bachelors and I did, not in engineering and not from A&M, but in construction from UALR. Close I swear LOL! Oh you may not know what LOL means! See there is this new way to use cellular phones that allows you to send brief written comments and it has created a whole new genre of English called text speak, and LOL means laugh out loud. That way lazy people don’t have to actually use the language they have been taught.

I fussed at the girls the other day about their penmanship, after reading an article that college professors are appalled at the poor penmanship and writing skills of high school students directly related to texting and using computers. So our technology is making us dumber! I try really hard to teach the girls all the useless things you taught me, and I think some of it is getting through, but I won’t know till they are older.

I miss you mommy. I want you to see all the things your granddaughters do and what they are becoming. I want to share it with you. I am sorry for all the horrible things I said as a teenager, all the things I didn’t know were so horrible. I am sorry that I thought you would live forever. You are my mommy and I love you even though you are gone. I spent hundreds every year giving for breast cancer research and have been genetically tested for the gene and I don’t have it, but I still get my boob smooshin on your birthday every year.

Love your only daughter, I promise to write more.
Felicia

You can call me Sweety Darlin’. I am a 29 year old mother of two teenagers, don’t argue! I love to sew and design and make things. If it goes through a sewing machine I am game! My kids are amazing when they are sleeping, and pretty decent the rest of the time.

Links to me
www.sweetydarlin.etsy.com
www.facebook.com/sweetydarlindesigns
www.twitter.com/sweety_darlin
www.sweetydarlin.blogspot.com
Sweetie Darlin on Pinterest

How Many Times Can You Fall in Love? {Love Story}

How Many Times Can You Fall In Love
Written by Ashley Smith of Sugar Britches

When I saw this month’s writing prompt, I immediately composed a post in my head regaling you with the story of how my husband and I came to be with each other. Then I remembered that I had already written that post a few years ago. And who hasn’t already heard everyone else’s love story? They met, they fell in love. They parted ways only to meet again. Or some other version of the same. It’s all romantic, a bit sappy, but original to each of us.

Instead I want to tell you about the last time I fell in love. See, I have kids. Three to be exact. If you are a mother in any way shape or form you know what I mean about loving your kids. It’s crazy love. Possessive love. Mother bear love. The kind that gives you superhuman strength. The kind that frightens you more than you thought anything ever could. I say this with all honesty and not a bit of snark (which is a hard thing for me) that I love my children more than I have ever loved anything or anyone on this earth. More than my husband. More than my parents. Way more than my first pet. Light-years more than my first “true love”. But like I said, it’s this last time that I fell that I want to discuss.

This last time, I fell hard. I mean cliff diving front flip belly buster into an ocean of snuggles, tantrums, and endless crashing waves of ecstasy and fear. My baby, I still call her my baby although she will be four whole years old this summer, my last child, my only girl. She stole my heart, every bit I had left after doling it out for the past 8 years and won’t let go.

Yes, yes…I know I have two other children. Rough and tumble boys who find farts hilarious and wrestling a part of their daily to-do list. I love them, it is obvious. They don’t want for attention anymore than any other child with siblings. But the fact remains that they are boys. Different in a way. I don’t get them. It was easier when they were babies and toddlers and the gender differences weren’t so pronounced. I’m guessing that is what daddies are for, besides the obvious reason of procreation. Because little boys need someone to connect with. Someone who gets them and why they are motivated to poke each other with sticks, lick unsanitary things, and never ever and I mean never stop moving. I love those boys, never mistake that.

While it was just the four of us for a short time, it didn’t feel complete. The last thing we needed was another mouth to feed, and I would never win an award for patience, but I felt compelled to try for just one more. And maybe, hopefully, wish on every single star that I would get a girl. Never in a million years did I think such an important wish would come true. It was granted, and she was a star gifted to me by the heavens and Mother Nature herself. We named her Stella, Greek for star. A perfect miniature incantation of myself. The blonde hair, green eyes, fierce expression all a perfect mimic. I was instantly in love. She was and is pure magic.

I have reveled in her for the past three years. Swooned over her absolute gorgeousness. Laughed myself silly alongside her baby and toddler giggles. Watched in awe as she navigates this life she was given.

The other night she tried to fly, which resulted in ER trip. She fought the CT scan as hard as she could until they made me leave the room. She was scared of the “bachine” and screamed over and over for me. I stood outside the door listening. At first she was hysterical, and when she realized that wasn’t working she began to reason with them using all her three year old knowledge of persuasiveness. “Can I please have my Mommy now?” ” I just really want my mommy.” Eventually she held still, the “bachine” did its thing, and the doctor brought her out to me. He commented that this must not be my first rodeo since I wasn’t beating down the door or crying myself. I laughed and jokingly told him my boys had broken me in well. What I didn’t say was that I was sick to my stomach, listening to my heart scream from the other room.

We lie in bed and snuggle every night. Every night that she doesn’t try to sleep with us. And yes, I am a complete sucker for her when she tells me that she wants to sleep with me because she loves me. Or because I am her precious mommy. Or because my bed is awesome and her’s is not. We cuddle, touch noses, sling arms around each other and I often whisper that she is my favorite. It is our secret. I tell her not to tell her brothers. That it is very important because not everyone understands. There is no love like the love between a mother and daughter.

Ashley Smith loves turquoise, antique white, thunderstorms, dark coffee, dark chocolate, and dark red wine, thrifting, crafting, writing, picture taking, child loving, messing with her husband, pretending to know what she is doing and blogging. Don’t forget blogging. Visit her at SugarBritches, her online home of three years where she chronicles her cooking, crafts, and kids. And also routinely drinks wine out of Mason jars.

New Year, New Phase of Life: The Return to Work {New Year, New You}

New Year, New Phase of Life: The Return to Work {New Year, New You}
Written by Stephanie McCratic of Evolved Mommy.

At the beginning of 2011 I started to feel like I needed to be doing something professionally. My year-and-a-half old daughter had a calendar packed with play dates; I had started a new mommy group with scheduled speakers, childcare, crafts and bonding activities; but I needed something more.

Freelance writing seemed like a natural transition. My blog had been gaining readership steadily over the past couple years, and I had done some freelance magazine writing and public relations work years ago.

A friend had also talked me into starting a jewelry home show business. The money was good and it forced me to get out of the house and socialize with people whom I’d never met. It’s not anything that I’m terribly proud of, but it taught me some good lessons.

After a whirlwind and dizzying year I now find myself gainfully employed as a social media strategist for a local marketing firm. And, no kidding, some of the biggest national clients I’ve landed have come to me directly because of my home show business.

The beauty of the situation is that my schedule is a flexible 30 hours per week. I started at 20 hours per week, which was a nice way to transition back to an office /day job setting. Now at the current 30 hour schedule I still get one weekday off with my toddler-turning-preschooler. If I were working 40 hours per week I would only see her for the 2-3 hours between when she gets home and when she goes to bed each night.

This arrangement is fantastic for our family, and it isn’t an option with every job. Although, I think it should be more common than it is.

How is my day different today than it was last year at this time:

Then Now

stretchy clothes Heels
10 am play dates 7 am professional development groups
Nap strikes anxious clients and lost emails
Quality time with baby Stimulating adult conversation

Returning to work isn’t for everyone at this stage, in just the same way that staying home isn’t for everyone.

Life has changed drastically in the last two month:

–          My body weight has increase, I’m assuming from stress eating or maybe business lunches or possibly even just winter.
–          My schedule is still a little wonky.
–          My husband and I haven’t yet figured out who takes our daughter to childcare and picks her up on what days.
–          The people I see regularly are changing (and this is the hardest part). I rarely see my mommy friends these days.

Hopefully, the dust will settle soon and the mental, emotional and financial rewards will be more obviously apparent.

No matter what, though, I still want a nap at 2:00 p.m.

Stephanie McCratic is the author of EvolvedMommy.com, where she writes about technology, trends and (mostly) non-sense for the modern mom. She has recently returned to work after two years as a stay-at-home mom. Her official title is Community Shepherd, but that’s just fancy, marketing speak for social media strategist at The Belford Group in Fayetteville, Arkansas, where she tweets and blogs professionally.